~ Dolphins of the Deep Blue ~

Thursday, March 08, 2007

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MICHELLE!

My bestest buddy ever in ballet! ha ha, bestest such good English ah! ha ha, anyway i really miss the times we spent dancing together during ballet! We are always the latecomers, ok maybe me lah. Thanks for always waiting for me when I'm late, ha ha, and not forgetting the times outside ballet! ha ha, kbox, maggie mee! ha ha, so many things, i really miss you! hope you will always be happy and we must definitely go out together one day! I'll show you all the jap stuff in the jap shops! MUST MUST MUST!

There are many things happening to me now, mostly negative. This makes me really wanna go back to the past, i seemed to be happier then and seemed to have better and lasting friends. Somehow or rather, as time goes by, i am starting to lose everything that i have, especially friends. ahhh, why? i really don't understand why. It makes me feel very sad and affected when i lose things. I am happier in the past despite all the childish quarrels, i had more freedom in the past, i had more lame jokes in the past, i miss being a child, i miss all my friends, i miss everything! I am slowly losing everything and i don't know why, is it because i am being punished? i feel so confused and my mood just swings to the extremes! Now i could only find my true laughter and joy in 4/4, when my close friends are actually not there. what's happening? is it really true that the closest person to you hurts you the most? i guess many things are caused by me that's because i'm always involved in all the problems. ahhh, i hate this, i'm slowly losing my friends, my happiness, my passion, my lameness, my enthusiasm, my everything, even the one and only thing that make me happy! i guess the thing i treasure most and spent most with will be taken away soon, i don't want it to be that way. i spent my life with it and i will not want to give it up! ahhhh, what's happening to me and my life? i can't even make friends properly, i can't do things freely, i am so restricted! i am so confuse, so lost, so.......sad? i don't know, i just hope that everything will be over soon! I want to settle all my thoughts, i want to get my life going, but i want to be happy too. isn't that what i do things for? to learn, go through the process and be happy? i love to make ppl happy, but i would love myself to be happy too!

Ahhh, i really really really miss ballet! i wanna dance! i love the space, i love the freedom to dance! sometimes i really feel like dancing when i see a wide empty space. argh~ i wish to touch the clouds and live there alone sometimes, that way i'll be happy and i will be free! I want to make my life happy!

~vision action passion~

--------------- JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W ----------------

bubbles left at 7:29 pm
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