Tuesday, February 27, 2007
STRESS! STRESS! STRESS! STRESS! STRESS!
everything is just running through my head, i don't even know how i am feeling right now, sad? angry? relieve? ahhh, i hate this feeling, i keep thinking about all the things that are happening in my life now, it really sucks ok! argh~ practically everyday there is something that irritates me, just a matter of whether its big or small. why is life like this at the last year of secondary school? isn't it suppose to be the most enjoyable yet stress year? why is it that there is nothing for me to look forward to in school? What am i? i don't even know the true feelings or emotions i have everyday, i just laugh and sob at the same time! ahhh, i'm having severe mood swings which i don't even know why! ahhhh, everything in my life now is revolving in the bad way and i just can't find a time to really rest, i need to catch my breath first before i can move on. CAs are killing me and have never ever been so stressed out before, i think i caused all the problems! not only making myself feel stressed out, i also cause myself to feel the way i should never ever feel, argh~ I can't find the innocence in me anymore, i'm forced to become mature and think maturely. i don't want it to be that way, what's wrong with them, i'm only 15 going to 16, i don't know a lot of things yet and i can't control peoples' thoughts! I HATE THIS !
LIFE IS LIKE A STRAW, BECAUSE IT SUCKS! thanks for that anyway, it made me laughed.
~Confused~
------------------------- JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W ---------------------------
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Sunday, February 18, 2007
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!
yay, its new year and i'm so so happy! so many things happened the past few days and i guess it all depends on how i should react and how i want to react! yeh, i guess i really have to start a new! i'm going to do my best in everything, since its the last year, i shall make it a fun and happy one, i shall be happy everyday! its not easy, but i'll do my best to do that! i miss miss miss miss, i repeat, miss miss miss miss ballet! i wanna dance! i can't wait to wear my pointe shoe again! i can't wait to dance again! i can't wait to stretch again! i can't wait to see my ballet friends too! i miss everything about ballet! i guess i really dread teaching, but since i am committed to it already, i shall work hard and tolerate! yeh, bit the bullet and move on! ha ha, yes, i'm glad i feel so positive now, it gives me the spirit to strive for the best! especially when tests are coming! la la la!
i was so so so so so bored at home, i had nothing to do except for eating! ha ha, guess i shall start on my homework tml! haha, at least have something to do! yay, oh yes, i listened to my mp3 for 4 to 5 times today ok, so i kind of like listened to the same old songs over and over again! ha ha, but i guess its ok, because i just bought ITO YUNA's album and i was listening to her songs! wooo~ cool man, i love her voice, her songs are so nice! so happy!
i'm excited to get all my ang paos, money money money! ha ha, yeh, business woman gets "turn on" by money! haha, and oh yes food too! ha ha, so MUCH delicious food to eat! i'm going to burn it all out when school reopens! yay, the first lesson to welcome me back to school is PE! yay yay yay! so happy, run run run! oh yes, i'm so happy, i got an A for my 2.4km run! yay, thanks to you, haha! next target will be pull ups, i shall work work work and get my A, so that i can get my 30 points! i really really want to get 30 points! yeh! haha, i shall be fit fit fit!
yeh, can't wait to exercise, can't wait to do a lot of things! ha ha, this is the year of pig! It will be a good year for me!
~Live long and prosper~
---------------------- JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W ----------------------
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Friday, February 09, 2007
HEY!
yo yo yo! i guess today is one of the happiest day for me! I had my A1 for 'O' level Chinese! yay yay yay, i was so scared ok, so scared that my heart started pounding even before recess! oh my goodness, i thought i would get a B3, which means i also have to consider dropping higher chinese. HOWEVER, i did well! yay, i'm so happy! tears of joy man! ha ha, at least now i feel more motivated to study hard for my 'O' levels! i want to get good marks! I want to get into the JC that i want! Thank you so much to those who supported me and congratulated me today! i'm really grateful! i wanted to cry when i saw the percentage of distinction for Chinese. oh my, trust me, i almost fainted! my tears was about to roll down my cheeks, but i controlled it. yeh, plus our chinese teacher gave us the disappointed look, which made it worse! yeh, i was in a state of shock when i received my results! i'm so so so so happy! Congrats to everyone! We sure did our best and went all out for it! Now, who all have to strive to work harder, Higher Chinese is going to be tough, but we all will be able to achieve our good marks! yeh, go go go!
Quote of the day : Can do, Will do, Done! This is the slogan of the winning teams. --taken from enlightened dolphins.
yeh, i'm really truly happy, and i'm glad that all of you are happy for me too!
oh yes, really sorry to you for saying that to you and making you feel bad, i really didn't mean it, i was too disappointed with myself that's why. i hope that the laughter we had during the lessons were your true happiness. relax ok, don't stress yourself too much! i'll always be there for you!
I guess, everyone are slowly protraying the symptoms of stress, and i guess we all have to bite the bullet and move on. that's life right, so no matter how lazy and restless I am, i still have to be responsible enough to do what i'm suppose to do. yeh.
~Hurray~
-------------- JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W --------------
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Wednesday, February 07, 2007
HELLO!
tuition was so fun today, as usual we bought a lot of food and made a lot of noise! ha ha, yeh. and my "trapezium", ha ha, its so fun. tuition always makes me high and happy! ha ha, plus today i was the fastest, yay! well, that's because i learnt vectors already, ha ha. i'll continue to be like that ok, don't look down on me. yeh, after tuition, we laughed our way back (as usual) and we made ppl in the mrt laugh too! haha, we were saying so much rubbish in the mrt, plus YY's contagious laughter. ha ha, oh and this old man in the mrt, yawned in a weird way - owwww ow ow ow ow! ha ha, so funny! yeh then this guy beside charmaine wanted to laugh at our jokes, and he controlled his laughter so hard! the guy looks like he is meditating, because he mouths out all the words from his story book! ha ha. yeh, then me and crystal took 197 from bedok home. there was this really freaky auntie on the bus and she started talking to us! ahhhh, i wanted to laugh ok, she talked non-stop and she kept repeating her story! oh my goodness, first she talk about wallet, then her hand then the actress xu wei lun. oh my goodness, then i wanted to alight already, and she still continued talking! oh my goodness, crytal was afraid that the auntie will talk to her, so she alighted at my stop. guess what, the auntie alighted too! ahhh, then we quickly walk to the 196 bus stop. so freaky ok, but it was very funny. We couldn't control our laughter, especially crystal and i was practically biting my fingers! ha ha, yeh such a funny experience!
~laughing is the hardest thing to control~
----------------- JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W --------------------
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Sunday, February 04, 2007
AHHH!
bad day today, argh~ morning had board meeting which is ... then was the macs incident which i shall not elaborate. teaching was bleah and i didn't get to dance at all today! hai, new class and they were all so quiet, but at least better than the DT. yeh, then went home so that i can prepare to go to airport to send alaina off. guess it was a wrong choice, hai, don't know what is wrong with my mum lah, she suddenly scold me for wanting to send alaina off. For goodness sake, she going back to KOREA and she may not come back to Singapore! ahhh, the scold and listen session. rahhhh, but in the end she allowed me to go. i don't know, i think she contradicting herself lah. Then i was so angry that i took the bus to airport from the wrong side and i ended in raffles city! wow. so i quickly rush to the nearest mrt and took train. luckily i reached the airport just in time to say goodbye to alaina. so sad, i miss her so much, i miss the wonderful memories we had with her during the hols! ahhhh, cried buckets lah, then when home. i feel so crappy today, ahhhh. I'm so sorry to all of you, i didn't mean to not join you all, i really didn't mean to, please don't get angry with me! i was really shock when i see you all, because i thought it was in school! ahhhh, please don't think that i am neglecting all of you, i don't wanna be out of the group too! Its all coincidental! aiya whatever the spelling is lah. i'm really really sorry. ok and to the three of you too, i'm so so so sorry, because of me you all were affected. hai, sometimes i think the real trouble maker is me! hai, i feel so sad and lousy today, i guess my self esteem is getting lower and lower. HELP! hai, right now i want to be alone, just lie down on my bed and reflect. am i a nice person? no. am i a considerate person? no. am i a lousy person? yes. am i a failure? yes.
argh~ i'm really disappointed with myself, i screwed up so many things, especially teaching, sometimes i really feel like giving up. i'm very tired, tired of everything, i just wanna let go and not do anything. where has my happiness gone to? where is the real me?
~I love myself~
---------------- JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W------------------
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