ballet

2009-01-21T22:37:00.001+08:00

moved to http://dancefanaticme.livejournal.com

2008-04-24T22:03:00.002+08:00

I HATE SCHOOL I HATE SCHOOL I HATE SCHOOL I HATE SCHOOL!!! AHHH!

i can't take this anymore. i hate school, i hate everything about school. i dread to go to school, it feels like a prison to me. ahhhh, i hate it! nvm, no one will understand it. its MY feelings anyway. i can't take it anymore. i have reached my limit.
ok fine, i know its my fault, its my fault to take up so many things, it my fault to be so lazy, its my fault to not do work, its my fault to talk in class, but must you do this to me? what's wrong with you, if you want to scold me then scold la, why must you go one big round just to shoot me. must you do that in class? must you compare and give that sarcastic tone? what's wrong? at least i improve right? i'm late anymore. i don't care if you find out that i'm talking about you, because i'm just venting my anger at my blog. plus your name is not stated so you have no prove to say that i'm scolding you. i hate this, why must be restricted even when writing on our own blog. i hate this, i hate school, i hate the school policy, i hate everything. i have nothing to look forward to, i have nothing to achieve, i have nothing to gain. ahhhh, please look at my strength and look at my improvements, i hate all the scoldings and nagging from you. what i need is encouragement and its lacking from you. stop thinking that you are giving your best to help us or even me because you are not. i hate this, i can't stand this. what is wrong? I NEED HELP! DO YOU GET ME? I NEED HELP! how can i do my work when i'm always so tired? and when i don't do my work i'll be penalised and get suspended. i hate this, i don't ask for extra time because i know no one will ever listen to me. no one will accept what i say, my reasons. they will just ask me to manage my time well, and then they will compare. why can others do it and not you? whatever la, different ppl have different strength and weaknesses right. i hate it, i'm so tired of explaining and getting scolded. do you know that there are many times that i almost break down in class? no you don't, because i held back my tears and pretended to laugh. I HATE THIS. ahhhhh i look forward to holidays much more than the rest. ahhhh, i don't feel like going back to that prison. if you find out, i hope you know how much i hate you.

2008-01-23T23:51:00.000+08:00

AHHHHH! I'M FEELING VERY HORRIBLE NOW NOW NOW! AND RESULTS ARE COMING OUT TMR!

I don't know what's wrong with me but i feel like stopping this. stop stop stop this feeling stop stop stop what i'm doing stop stop stop everything! no more! i can't take it anymore! i can't commit i can't prioritise it i can't ..... ahhhh! bleah! i hate this i hate this!!!!

ok whatever-- i'll just drop this now, right at this moment!

ok i'm really enjoying myself in TPJC! the people there are nice, my class is cool, my CCAs are fun! ahhhh, i was surprised that i actually like the school. now thinking about it, i don't mind staying in TPJC! haha, all depends on tmr's results! ahhh, so scary! ok anyway, i will really miss my friends in TPJC if i ever have to leave that school. yeh, i really enjoy every single moment in there. the tutors are nice and it motivates me to work hard! ahhhhhh, ok my feelings are all mixed up now and i can't think properly. haha.

ROCK OR SWORD? which do you prefer?

~ stop it now~

------------------------ JJ Tan --------------------------

2008-01-06T21:54:00.000+08:00

BOOO!

alright, i seriously don't understand why i have a blog because i don't blog everyday. haha. anyway, its 2008 already and means no more KC no more dark alley no more 4/4 no more familiar faces ( except for a few ) no more warmth no more KC smell no more KC food no more KC!!! ahhh! booohooo! so sad, anyway tpjc is not bad too! haha, well it was rather boring on the first day of orientation. i only started to like tpjc from the second day. orientation lasted for only 2 days and poof lectures starts. oh my the audi is so cold like Antarctica! haha, anyway the lectures were quite interesting and it kind of influenced me to like tpjc more. yeh, and we sign-up for our CCAs already. i'm in rock climbing and wushu! haha, how cool is that. oh yeh, wow! haha, we saw mr kuah there at tpjc, he forced the KCians to join wushu. yeh, so what to do, just join lor. haha yeh. can't wait for cca to start! ahhh, rock climbing! i'm going to have really nice muscles in my body! he he.

today's a great day! i love today, and every other day. BUDDY! BUDDY BUDDY BUDDY! haha.

i love the time spent together! it's always the best! haha. i'll always replay the special moments we had when i have nothing to do. sometimes i still can feel you when i'm replaying it. haha. weeeeee! so fun! so exciting! haha. there's so much more to say but i know i don't have to say it out because there's no need to. its all in the heart. haha! weeeee! so fun so fun!

i'm thinking thinking thinking thinking thinking about......... haha not for you to know! weeeeeeeeeeee! naughty naughty, i like being naughty! haha. ballet tmr! yay advance class = good workout class .

~baby deer~

2007-12-25T21:13:00.000+08:00

BUDDY! BUDDY! BUDDY!

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! HAHA!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

2007-12-20T00:49:00.000+08:00

19th DEC 2007!

2007-11-24T23:05:00.000+08:00

I have ended my KC years.... bleah!

how i will miss my days in KC! ahhhh, i'll miss my friends, the building of my school, fitness rm, dark alley(haha), teachers, everything!!! yeh, all my happy memories and the sad ones too! i realise KC is the place when i can really present the real me! haha, weeee! oh man, i'm going to miss miss miss miss miss KC! i will definitely miss council too! all the hard work that we all put in, all the sweat and tears we have given! i just love everything about KC!!!
so now i have currently devoted my life to ballet. BALLET BALLET BALLET everyday! cool! i'm aching all over and it is so painful that it hurts even when i sit on the toilet bowl! anyway i like the pain, but not the process of getting the pain. haha! well well, A LITTLE BIT OF PAIN IS GOOD FOR YOU!
BUDDYBUDDYBUDDYBUDDYBUDDYBUDDYBUDDYBUDDYBUDDYBUDDYBUDDYBUDDYBUDDYBUDDYBUDDYBUDDY!!!

~i miss you~

------------------- JJTan ex H.O.W. in the W.O.W.-----------------------------

2007-10-27T15:21:00.000+08:00

O LEVELS! AHHHHHHHH!

ha ha, i hope i do well man! i'll show you you you that i can! muahahaha! oops, i feel so evil and competitive! haha, la la la. i want my A1 for a maths, my A1 for e maths, my distinction for science!!! ahhhh, geog was super hard and i hope my ss will pull it up up up. as for english, i hope i'll be able to write well on monday. haha, oh my my, i'm scared! i hope my core lit will get A2 which i am praying hard for! ahhhhh! ok ok, i'm going crazy! O level is ending in 2 weeks time for me! yay! ok ok, la la la, english english here i come! haha

~opposites attract~

---------------- JJ Tan (ex) H.O.W in the W.O.W.---------------

2007-09-25T22:35:00.000+08:00

HEY!

well well well, prelims are over and i received horrible results! haha, yeh so disappointing. that's the only consequence for not studying hard enough, did i even study? haha. ok ok, so i am hoping for a miracle to happen now. english and core lit to get an A2. haha! I know this will never happen. right, i feel a little odd now because i haven't been blogging for a long long time. haha. I hope i'll get at least a B4 for science, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! ahhhh, i have so many results which only requires me to get just ONE more mark to jump one grade up. haha, well well, what to do, i just have to accept what i get. i can't believe i did so badly for my E and A maths. bleah--- so, bad results = horrible L1R5 = Bye Bye first 3 months. yes yes, guess my only hope is Os. possible? YES! IF i work extra hard for it. TJ is getting very far away from me. OH NO!
today is the last mass for all Sec 4E/5N. it was umm no comments. haha, not as great as last year. there were birds last year to symbolise something which i forgotten, haha, but there was nothing this year! boohooo, not even an ant! it seemed more like a normal mass than a farewell mass. hai, nvm. i don't wanna leave KC! boohoo, i'll miss everything in KC! EVERYTHING! ahhhhhh! i feel so crazy now. haha.
pray hard for good results!!!

~O level~

--------------------- JJ Tan (ex)H.O.W in the W.O.W.----------------

2007-08-09T23:13:00.000+08:00

BOO!

so, yesterday 8th of august 2007 marks the end of my ex-co journey in kc 1st students' council. i guess yesterday was a day that i cried the most! haha, how much i treasured being a kc councillor, how much i love the councillors, how much tears i have shed, how much laughing gas i have produced, and how much more i could do. yeh, installation was really a meaningful one. i cried even before going up on stage and sorry Lia i made you cry too. yeh, i guess my journey from prefect to council was really an interesting one. i reached rock bottom many many times and even wanted to give up, but i'm glad i pulled through, and ended the race that i've started. i wanna thank every single councillor for making my life filled with much joy and laughter. i felt so warm during community singing, seeing everyone so united and singing "HOME" together. yes i cried, haha, i felt like a cry baby but i just couldn't help it. reminiscing all the memories i had through council makes me feel that all the things that i've gone through is worth it. i've grown so much and made so many friends, friends who treated me like sisters, friends who i can count on. i felt as if i had a second family.

thanks a lot to my welfare com members for pushing me through, if not for all of you, i would have given up the role as the head of welfare. i've always looked forward to welfare meeting, where we gossip and laugh at almost everything. oh yes, i'll miss the times when all of you whine and try get your way out from doing the quote of the day. haha, its really funny though i'll have a hard time trying to persuade all of you. i know for myself that i haven't been a really good com head but at least i created a bond within the welfare com. thanks a lot for all of your time and effort. we may not be the ideal com but we are the most united! i really love my welfare com, i know how much each and everyone of you supported me. although i'm reluctant to let go, i'm sure all of you will not let me down and continue with the tradition! welfare com shall always be united and not leave anyone out! thank you!

thanks a lot to the seniors for always going crazy and giving me advise! all of you have made a great impact in my life. thank you so much for always not giving up and also going crazy with me! the friendship between us is very strong, so strong that it'll never break. i'm so glad that at least we were given a chance to understand each other and also a chance to work together! if not for the camp, i guess we will not have such great bond between us. thank you for going through the journey together ever since i was a trainee. thank you for all the help given, you all did not fail to put a smile on my face!

thanks a lot to my dearest ex co for always guiding me through the tough times. i'm really sorry for whatever i've done before that hurt all of you. really really sorry. i'm glad i went back on track and brought myself back into ex co! without the support of all of you, i wouldn't have finish this journey as an ex-co. i would have really let go everything. i guess all the hard times brought all of us closer. really sorry that i'm always not there for all the outings and always isolating myself. all of you have been so patient with me. i'm really glad to have all of you, especially at times when i'm so irritated by her over all the welfare stuff. sorry for always venting out my anger and shouting for no apparent reason during meetings. no more meetings during recess! boohooo!

thanks a lot to all the juniors, all of you have never fail to make me smile. being the playful me, i guess all of you have tasted the pinch before. haha, weeeeeee. how fun! thank you for all the cute smiles! haha, yeh cute! weeeee, especially the sec 2s, thanks a lot for always acknowledging me with those vigorous wave. haha, to all the sec 3s, thank you so much for going through so much with me. to the ex-junior councillors, thank you for all your support since last year, i'll never forget the times we spend together, doing duties, playing, camps....etc. to all the sec 3 ex-trainees, thank you so much for always giving your best. you all sure motivated me to work harder! though we only worked together for less than a year, i can still feel a strong bond between us! thank you so much!

ok this is going to be a very long post, so if you are tired of reading, you can come back later. haha.

ok so, what's life being a councillor? i guess being in the council, my life has became more meaningful. it added so much colours to my life and it allows me to have something for me to aim for. sometimes, it is tough being a councillor, espcially when we are suppose to be role models. its kind of hard for me because of my playful character, but i'm glad i pulled through this. its hard being a councillor and i've break down so many times due to all the shit that the teachers gave and also the stress to meet datelines and all. its even worse being the ex-co of the 1st students' council. i believe we didn't have much support from the teachers as well as the student body. this made it much harder for us to play the role of the bridge between the teachers and the student body, because both end didn't give enough support and so the bridge was rather unstable. yeh, i didn't like the fact that we were all alone working for nothing and so i started to dread all the things that got to do with council. i started to not give my best and do last minute work. i guess at that time, i wasn't a good role model for the school and also for my juniors. yeh, then i guess something struck me and i decided to strive hard again, and that's when i really found myself enjoying my life in kc. students' council have indeed made my life in kc much more interesting. facing all the challenges and building up the confidence to bring ppl together actually is quite fun. haha, to be who i am now, i have to really be very thankful to be a councillor. i change a lot ever since i join prefects, i've found my true friends, i've became more aware of myself and my surrounding. i'm proud to be a councillor, i wish i could do more. hai, kind of regret not doing much more when i was still a councillor. i had so many things in mind, but i guess i was too lazy to execute it? haha, yeh, anyway i'm currently having a mental block, haha, so all i want to say is thank you for having a chance to be a councillor.

for everyone who hasn't step down, don't give up! the last thing you should think of is to give up. if all of us just give up when we make a mistake or when we face challenges, then we will never be able to taste success. the climax of a show is always in the middle and what we go through is more important. as long as we know that we gave our best, we will have no regrets. everyone will fall at times, even the most capable person will break down through this journey, it all depends on us. how do you stand up? using your own feet right? thousands of ppl can be pulling you up from that fall, but it all depends on you to stand upright on your own feet. whenever you feel alone, look around you, you will find that you have your family and friends to fall back on. NEVER SAY DIE! haha, work hard yeh!

oh yes, i have to thank my buddy too! thank you buddy for always being there for me and ever so willing to collect my rubbish. haha, i'm so glad to have such a buddy! a buddy who never complains when i vent, a buddy who shares her life story with me, a buddy who makes me laugh, a buddy who is so similar to me, a buddy who is willing to spend time with me, a buddy who always encourages and motivates me, a buddy who is like my sister ....etc. i hope my buddy will stay happy and not give up. i hope my buddy will always feel motivated and not be sad anymore. i hope to see my buddy laugh like before and i hope my buddy will push through this tough time! go go go buddy! believe in yourself, i'll carry you through this journey, till you are ready to walk on your own. thank you buddy!

i am going to miss every single thing i did in kc when i graduate. KC has brought much meaning into my life. KC allowed me to know the importance of friends and also the imprtance of believing in youself. the only person that you can truly 100% rely on is yourself, so if you yourself don't believe then who will?

~i am a councillor~

-------------------------JJTan (ex)H.O.W in the W.O.W--------------------------

2007-07-20T22:48:00.000+08:00

BOO!

ok so i guess i have been feeling really weird these few days. i'm having extreme mood swings again! yeh, it sucks. whatever i do, be it going crazy in class, quarrelling with friends....... i still know that my heart is feeling the same way. its a feeling that is indescribable. at this rate i'm going, i'll do really badly for my O levels. i have not started studying for any subject. i'm starting to panic but i'm not doing anything to ease that feeling. alright, i HAVE to start. i really have to. ok i have to help myself, no one can help me without the support of me, myself and I!
alright, my mind is currently blank and my heart is sinking. its as though i have to hold on to it, if not it may just drop all the way to the floor. it has this sharp pain also whenever it gets "attacked". yeh, i hope this feeling will go away soon. it was so hard for me to smile. this is bad, because my smile is the one that brings me joy and happiness plus onfidence. ok all i can say now is, i can't cheer up because my heart has already sank, not sinking but sank. alright, smile everyone.

~if only i could~

---------------------JJ TAN H.O.W in the W.O.W.----------------------

2007-07-13T21:48:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF!

yay! so today is a very special day for me! haha, weeeee. thanks a lot to all my friends, they gave me so many presents! i felt so loved! haha, yeh thanks a lot to yuen ying, li jia (licky), kai boon, chia pei, joey, angelina, samantha tan, dorothy, my W.O.W ppl ( charmaine tay, heda, vicki, heidi foo, zaharah, zakiah, Lia, gillian, allyson, gabrielle, filzah and charmaine tan ), my dearest ex-cos ( soek khern, wei zhen, victoria, sanam, alicia, crystal, cheryl ng, andrea tjoe and priscilla ), my class 4/4, SNORMPITLE ( cassandra, soek khern and alicia ), my BUDDY and also not forgetting my mummy! yeh, oh yes and also thank you to all those who wrote me small little notes and wishing me happy birthday! oh you know, my birthday is the same as serene! haha, thanks a lot for the present! happy birthday to you! today is such a memorable day! i guess its my best birthday ever!!! thanks a lot buddy especially! what a birthday today! so interesting! haha, weeeeeeeee. i feel so happy! yeh so its friday the 13th, but its a lucky day and a happy day for me! haha, i just can't stop smiling today! i went cycling with buddy! weeeeeeee, so fun!
i laughed so much in class! weeee, esp at ash and licky! haha, gym with sharon! so fun! i love the trackmill! we ran only 7 mins plus. haha, but its still fun! weeeeeee! that's about today. my wonderful birthday!

~happy birthday~

-----------------JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W ---------------------

2007-06-28T22:44:00.000+08:00

BOO!

so, school has started and its really time to buck up. ok let's see, 9 weeks to prelims!!! minus off the sleeping time, the chatting time, the build clouds time (haha) and so on, i only left with 45 days to study 7 subjects!!! CHEER! haha, first week of school will be the "finish up your homework" week. let's see, i'm still left with chinese, english, biology and core lit!!! wow! ok i'm so going to die tmr for chinese because i didn't hand in most of the work. yeh, so pls say your last goodbye to me now! if i survive, i will say hello again! haha. SS class test tmr and i haven't study. i tried opening my book, but i'm not sure what to study? yeh, she gave us the question already, so means we just have to study the points for that question. yupp, i feel so lost! oh well....
i feel motivated to study nowadays (with the exception of today :D ), so its good! i can see glimpse of light in front of me! at least no longer surviving in darkness. haha, surprisingly, i feel happier now. maybe because i am able to let go or rather not care. haha, maybe i'm more matured now! yes yes yes. haha, oh and there are so many changes in timetable and other arrangments. I HAVE 15 PERIODS OF MATHS NOW!!! oh my, sucking out all my brain cells. haha, and weeeee PE is now on monday and its no longer the first two periods. oh man! ok, i shall comment about recess too. IT'S SO SO SO SO SO CROWDED AND I HAVE TO QUEUE FOR SO LONG BEFORE I CAN GET MY FOOD! oh and here's an achievement, me and soekiie gobbled down our mee soup and drinks in 5 mins time! how cool is that, esp when somebody with the name of TAN JIA JIA is such a slow eater. haha.
i think lessons are real fun when licky and chiaps doing stupid stuff. haha, and today's chem was finally a good one. i actually learnt something! weeee! hope that all the chem lessons will continue to be like this. yay! oh and i really love to have english oral lessons where i learn how to pronounce the words. i find it really interesting, and its also funny looking at licky pronouncing the words. haha. i guess i just like it. haha.
alright, i shall get going with SS and chinese before i get killed tmr.

~bored~

----------------------JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W.--------------------------

2007-06-17T19:43:00.000+08:00

BOO!

Is there a person who is insignificantly significant to you? If that's a yes, then you probably will understand how i feel.

So maybe,
- you just knew that the person likes the same thing as you and does the same thing you like when the person is younger. you only knew that recently and you felt guilty but a sense of closeness.
- you just knew that the person feels lonely at times and hopes that you will be there but you don't even bother to make time for that person, maybe you do but you always dread it.
- you suddenly remember the days you spend together with the person when you were younger and you hope to go back to the past but you know it will never happen. as a result, you feel sad.
- you hope to do something for the person, but you always delay and in the end you just can't be bothered to do it and you just give up. you never once think that it may be too late when you finally want to do something for that person.
- you take that person for granted and you always get influenced and you even started to dislike the person, but everytime when you see that person, you regret feeling that way.
- you forget the person's birthday and you only remembered it the day after. you felt guilty but didn't even call back to ask about the person.
- you suddenly felt that there is nothing to say between the two of you. you feel the awkward silence and you realised that you have to think very hard just to come out with a conversation.
- you want the person to know more about you, but you just can't seem to be able to say out your problems. you suddenly feel that the only way is just to say all the positive things about yourself.
- you feel sad whenever you discuss about the past with that person, the memories that the two of you share are happy, but its the fact that it may not happen again that make you feel sad.
- you realised that you can't crack anymore jokes when you see that person, because it doesn't come out naturally anymore.
- you took a good look at the person's recent photo and you realised that it looked different already. you know that you have to cherish the time with the person but you just don't know how.
- you feel sad whenever you think of the past and you feel like telling that person, but its just so hard. you don't wanna cry infront of that person and so you just try to stop thinking.

Is that how you feel? well maybe. haha, let's talk about my childhood. haha, i remember i always go to the park and i will always cycle there. then i will always play at the playground, it will always be the monkey barre and the swing. i will always try to climb up by the sides of the door in my house and then call for help when i'm stuck. i love the feeling when i'm being lifted up by two people while we hold hands and walk back home after dinner. i always like to be fetched home and not by school bus. i remember always going to the arcade whenever i feel like it and i will spend a long time there. i remember playing basketball, but i couldn't shoot because i was too small. i remember the times i was on my scooter, riding it around the void deck. my mum didn't allow actually, but i just secretly ride it. i remember playing table tennis and always winding whenever i lose the game. haha. i remember being the messenger at home, running room to room just to send simple messagers. i remember going for computer lessons and all i do is just sit there and play games. haha. ok and many many more playful things. haha, so when i was young, i was very playful and naughty. haha, but naughty in the good way. haha, i am always so active and i would run around from place to place and playing all kinds of games i can find. my favourite place is the playground! i love the playground, because that's where i can show off my talent at swinging, balancing ....... yeh, my all time favourie food is curry! haha, and i always love the days when i get to eat my grandma's curry! haha

ok, so you can imagine how adorable i am when i'm young!!! haha, so active and playful! haha, so i guess i am like this now too? haha, yeh.

weeeeeeeee, cycling was so fun yesterday! haha, " eh eh this is zebra crossing!" "haiya whatever lah!" haha. so funny! the sky was so nive yesterday! it seems like the sea and the sky were fused together! haha, so misty but yet so soothing. i just love to stare at the sky, it makes me think. it gives me a sense of comfort and it makes me happy! haha, that's when i will form my cloud house or create my own cloud dance. haha, yeh. i truly think buddyhood is a nice word! haha, and its good to have a buddy.

~happy father's day~

-------------------- JJTan H.O.W. in the W.O.W. -------------------

2007-06-15T00:37:00.000+08:00

BOO!

YAY! ok today's a happy day! i watched shrek 3! haha, its so funny! i laugh so much during the movie until my stomach so pain! haha, so funny! i just love that movie! haha. yes so i went out with wei zhen and B2!!! haha, great fun and as usual my favorite jap shop wasn't open! oh man, but i still got high in HMV, after seeing all the jap CDs! haha, yeh and i got so high at the movie section too! so funny! HI, MY NAME IS HARRY POTTER! haha! ok right now, there is this bug that refuses to fly out of my house! and i don't seem to be able to kill it! argh, its giving me goosebumps! haha, ok anyway back to today. haha, we went to kinokuniya too! weeeee, and i saw so many jap books and magazines! haha, and we laughed so much when we were at the learning japanese section. haha, someone actually put that gatsby song as their ringtone!!! haha, I CAN GIVE YOU GATSBY! so funny! oh my, haha, its cool too lah! haha, weeee. yes yes, today is such a fun day! and we squeezed into the mrt train when we were going home. haha, I HAVE A VERY GOOD BALANCING SKILL! YES YES, unlike someone! haha, oops!
HI MY NAME IS HARRY POTTER!
HARRY POTTER IS MY NAME!
SO WHAT'S MY NAME? HARRY POTTER!
SO HARRY POTTER IS..? MY NAME!
AND SO I AM HARY POTTER!
haha, ok that's crap lah, but its so funny! haha, weeeeeeee! laugh laugh laugh! weeeeeee! i'm going cycling tmr with B2! weeeeeeeeee! can't wait! cycle cycle cycle! haha.
oh saturday is coming! and i'm so glad that we finished the dance! oh oh oh, and i'm dancing for pris!!! haha, so cool right? pris is singing the duet with another guy and we are her backup dancer! haha, weeeeee! combine rehearsal this sat! i'm quite scared, plus we are going there on our own, haha, ok we can do it! hope that we will not make any mistakes! practice before hand ok! haha! weeeeeee! i think the dance turned out quite ok, haha. not bad not bad!
TMR ------- MUGGING, CYCLING, BALLET..........THE END!

~ha ha ha~

---------------------- JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W --------------------

2007-06-12T00:40:00.000+08:00

BOO!

oh my, i am so exhausted! guess i'm too busy. haha, oh am i just making myself busy? haha, anyway an achievement today. i'm suppose to choreograph a 4min 43secs dance by today! but i didn't of course, i'm not so super, haha. at least i covered 3mins and 30secs. haha, yay! i just knew that i have to choreograph it only today! oh my, i got a shock of my life when my teacher pass me the cd and tell me about this. oh my my! haha, i am so stress? haha, but it was fun even though my brain cells are all sucked out! haha, weeeee. just pray hard that it will work out and the combine rehearsal is this saturday! oh my! haha. ok, i must say i'm quite please with what i have done so far, though its a little messy. haha, hope that things will be better and that i can come out with better and nicer steps! weeee!
haha, i feel like going cycling! i just love cycling now. haha, wind wind wind! haha. oh i realised that i don't have much time left to catch up with my school work and i'm starting to panic? i always get so frightened whenever i think of my O levels. what if i do badly? what if i can't get into the school that i want? do i still have time left? can i do it? oh man!
ok so meeting on wednesday, ok frankly speaking, i don't really feel like going. haha, oh man, the third day of the third week! argh~ meant for shrek 3 lah. ok anyways, its important so i shall drag myself there. haha.
i think the sec 3 councillors are doing a good job on the racial harmony day skit. weeee, good good! haha, keep it up yeh, hope that the skit will turn out well and hope that ms T will approve it. well done!
weeeeeeee, ok i hope i can cover many chapters of all my work and improve at least 3 grades for each subject! i have to anyway, O levels is like 4 months away? oh my, that's so fast! ahhhh, and i still have gazillion homework to do! ok ok, I can do it! go go go! i shall devote my time to study and mug all the way! yes yes! weeeee! haha.

~study hard~

---------------------JJTan H.O.W in the W.O.W.-------------------------

2007-06-05T23:18:00.000+08:00

YO!

weeeee, i can't express how high i am now! haha. i just came back from ballet and i think today was a tiring but great day. first was school then was teachers' course then jazz class and finally ballet class! weeeee, the best part is, i didn't bring my towel! haha, so cool hurh! haha. anyway, i am aching really badly now and i think it will be worse tmr. haha, oh well, i like the pain so its alright.
so council camp just ended not long ago and it was great fun, in fact the best camp i have ever gone to. haha, ok because i thought the bond in the council was so great that i just can't stop being happy! weeeee, so first day was fine, the sec 4s and 5s had to go for structured lessons first, oh man! haha, then council camp for us officially starts at 2.30! haha, oh and my group is SEISHOU ! weeeeee, it means spirit in jap and my group is suppose to be one spirit! yeh, and weeeeeee my group members consist of VICKI, MELISSA, AMANDA, JING HONG, AVELYN, HEIDI, CELESTE, NURUL, GILLIAN and not forgetting but partner SANAM ! WEEEEE, yeh cool group. haha, though the first night was rather uh-hem, but at least we realised how much the seniors have supported us! i really thank the seniors for their help and their support. i am so glad that they contributed whole-heartedly and helped us so much during the camp and also while planning for the camp! alright so i couldn't sleep the first night, haha, partly was due to the icy cold atmosphere in the gym! haha, yeh. anyway, i was in charge of morning call and i successfully accomplished my job! Aren't you all happy for me? haha, i am so proud of myself! haha, oh yes second day was fun, i led the exercise and it was great fun. haha, happy aching to all of you after the "ballet" session! haha, weeeee, yeh, i think the best part was the water games, i got so high lah. haha, i love getting wet so water games are really cool! haha, yeh, and oh yes yes then we had to clear up and Vicki and hinna showed us a performance, haha. it was hilarious man and so they decided to perform during the campfire! haha, so funny, i literally roll on the floor! haha. yeh and finally campfire! weeeee, so fun, oh yeh once again i was so high! haha, the cheers were so fun and i think i sort of lose my voice after leading the cheers. weeeeee, oh and then half way through Cheryl came to help me and she did her spastic cheer! haha, oh i think the best part was the friendship dance, at the last part i got quite emotional and i suddenly realised that its my last year in KC! oh my my. ok then home sweet home but some of us stayed to clear up. haha, thanks a lot for all the warm fuzzies! i love them! i always feel so good when reading the warm fuzzies. no wonder its called warm fuzzies, because it gives you and makes you feel warm!
sorry for not giving any warm fuzzies, i really had no time to write. yeh, but i want all of you to know how grateful i am! i wanna thank all the juniors and trainees for being so enthu about every activities and also trying to get high during the campfire. i wanna thank SEISHOU for having such good team spirit although we were the last. haha, SEISHOU SEICHILL! i wanna thank the seniors for always being there for us to support us! the seniors are so supportive! you guys are great! without you all, i don't we can go through the whole camp. without all of your joy and laughter, the camp will not be fun. without all of your encouragement and enthusiasm, we won't be able to plan such a great night walk! whatever it is, i really wanna thank all the seniors! thank you ex cos, for always being there for me. thank you for going through all the tough time together. although sometimes there may be misunderstandings, but we somehow or rather can always pull through. thank you Cheryl for always being there to support and encourage me. always there to make sure everything is fine. thank you for always show your commitments towards all the things! thank you Wei zhen for always being there for me and hearing me out. thank you for sharing too. i guess we became closer through the camp. thank you for always accompanying me when we buy food and all. thank you soek khern for understanding me! thank you for always lending your wonderful ear and allowing me to have fun too! i am glad we are feeling better now. thank you Victoria for being with me during the night walk. we spend our night in the pitch dark council room playing cards and chatting. thank you for always being my ballet friend! thank you priscilla for always getting so high with me. thank you for always being so lame during the music game. thank you crystal for always doing stupid things that will make me laugh! thank you for choosing my cap too with andrea. haha, thank you andrea tjoe for always doing stupid actions with me. thank you for lending me your shoulder during the campfire.thank you for your support! thank you alicia tan for always laughing at my lameness. thank you for pulling through so well. really, i am really glad to see that we all have bonded with each other so much, especially the ex cos and the seniors. i feel so happy every time i see the seniors walk pass me and greeting me with the "i will follow you" song. haha, especially Vicki and keshia(hope i spelled your name correctly) haha. i am not really camp sick, but i am just happy to always recall about the camp. thank you so much councillors! weeeeee! thank you for making my days at camp such an enjoyable and fun one!
yay, Thursday is coming and i am going to cycle again! weeeeee, i love cycling! haha, and i will see my cloud house and hear stories! weeeeee, go go go! haha, i feel so motivated to do everything now, i am so happy! thank you to all those who made my day and days. haha, i am really grateful for that you all have done! oh yes, thank you B2 for being such a good friend! i am really glad to be able to know you! you have always lend me your ears and your shoulders to comfort me and make me feel better. you never fail to make me laugh and make me happy. thank you for always being so supportive and encouraging, at least i know someone is there for me. thank you for always wasting your time just to accompany me, thank you for always being so concern. thank you for all the things you have done for me. thank you for being my friend!

oh ya, i just have to say this ----- i killed 3 cockroaches during the camp!

~THANK YOU~

-----------------JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W --------------------

2007-05-30T23:03:00.000+08:00

HEY!

it has been quite a long time since i last blogged. yeh, so its confirmed that i'm not going to shanghai. nevermind, i guess right now the most important thing to me is my O level. i hope that opportunities will knock at my door again. yeh, so now i have to sacrifice something in order to live a steady and safe life. haha. i will not give up! go go go Jia Jia! now i shall officially be all of your costume manager! haha, i'll help get all the costumes! don't worry, i will still keep myself involve in SDG!
2 days to camp and i'm very excited! la la la, i feel so happy during all the dry- runs. thanks a lot ex cos! the camp is going to be so fun! weeeee~ haha, i hope everyone will be bonded during the camp! i know we will! yay! i have meeting tmr and i'm looking forward to it! yay!
Weeee, i have to start studying, i guess i can only do that after the camp, i am determine to work hard! i have to cut my aggregate score by 50% so a lot of hard work has to be put in! i can do it! go go go!
OH OH OH, I HAVE MY NEW BIKE! yay, i'm so happy and so fascinated by it! i love my bike! i just love it! its rocks man! haha, weeeeeee, feel the wind!
VISION+PASSION+ACTION=SUCCESS!

~i have accepted the fact~

-------------------------------- JJTan H.O.W in the W.O.W ------------------------------

2007-05-16T14:28:00.000+08:00

BOO!

YAY! its marking day! finally i get to rest after those horrible papers! ha ha, so yesterday's paper really did suck, ha ha. i was so angry with myself for not doing the trigo question first, for taking the diameter as the radius, for not doing the parts after the 'show' question and for being so stupid! if i didn't make such mistakes, i would have gotten 10 more marks! oh my gosh, thanks to me, myself and I! anyway, its over so no point crying over spilt milk. yeh, ha ha.
my mum said i became darker and she don't really want me to go under the hot sun. bleah, i don't care, i like it and i'm going! ha ha, anyway its my own skin so i can tan myself as much as i want! ha ha, whoo hoo~ yeh ok thanks a lot "MARIA" ! ha ha, don't know what is stone but know what is computer. ha ha, and you never prepare my breakfast today! send you back to china! ha ha. my stones are cool, they can "jump" on the sea water! ha ha, jealous?
alright, so i know that i flunk my mid-years, so means extra mugging to be done after marking days! i must i must start studying on friday. the hardest thing to do is to pick yourself up, so i shall pick myself up against all odds and move on with life! i will! i'm already at my lowest point, so i can only go up and move on with life! yes yes, i will and i must. O levels is just a stepping stone in my life, many more to come! yeh, ok i feel like i have grown so much after this mid years. i guess i really woke up? i really want to do well for O level! so mugging officially starts this friday! GO GO GO!

~whoo hoo~

------------------ JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W. -------------------

2007-05-14T21:37:00.000+08:00

AHHHHHHH!!!!!!

oh what a day! A maths was fine, do-able but 27 marks out of that 80 = BYE BYE! yeh, hopefully i can pass at get at least a B4? i don't know, i never pass a maths at all for the whole of sec 3 and i hope this time round i will. i think i forgotten all the formulas that i was taught in sec 3. bleah! ok tmr is paper 2 and i'm not sure if i can do well. i bet functions, matrices, integration, quadratic functions, indices, surds, logarithm, TRIGO and P&C will definitely come out. yeh, sucks lah. anyway i'm giving up on P&C already. yeh. english oral was crap lah, i did so badly and i almost cried during the conversation ok. i had mental block and i just couldn't think of anything to say. wth! it kind of spoilt my mood. SB! AB! BALLET!!! argh~

why can't i just do what i want. sometimes i wonder why is our passion being controlled by money? everything in our life revovles around money and it sucks. does that mean that only the rich can achieve their goals? i don't know what's wrong with me, i suddenly feel so heavy and down. i'm no longer so bright and cheerful.

is it true that those who always appear strong are normally the weakest? i'm getting hit by everything so easily. i want to be happy! rahhh! i feel like punching something but i can't bring myself to do it. i feel like shouting but nothing comes out of my mouth. is it because i'm too weak? i guess i think too highly of myself. i always think that i can help others but i always cannot help myself. the biggest enemy in life is yourself. as long as i defeat myself, i'll be able to succeed. but its so hard and tiring. i can't help but give up because its just too painful to be put down again after working so hard. i just don't see the point of working so hard, it doesn't really matter. rahhh~

i have a very strong feeling that tmr's paper will suck, but i don't wish it to be that case. i want to do well, but my mind just don't allow me to? yeh, i can't bring myself to practice. all i can do now is pray hard. pray that i won't be nervous and have mental block.

if i get to paint a picture, the picture will be at the beach. i will be sitting down alone staring at the clouds and imagining myself dancing on the clouds. AND i will have a smile on my face. sometimes i just like to sit down alone with nobody, no noise, just me alone and then stare at the blue blue sky. feel the breeze blowing away my stress and my worries, allowing me to feel much lighter and happier.

i can't wait for wednesday to come!

~WHY~

----------------JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W --------------------

2007-05-11T14:29:00.000+08:00

YO!

bleahhh~ MYE! driving me crazy man! guess i started studying a little too late. wait, not a little, very late! ha ha, so i kind of flunk all my papers. ha ha, maybe except for maths? ha ha, oh and paper two was fine today but thanks to me, i lost 2o marks because i didn't finish the paper! i don't know why but i was so nervous before and during the exam. my hands were trembling? yeh, and i couldn't draw my locus properly lah. i spent 20 to 30 mins just on that stupid locus question! bleah~ i was so angry with myself that i kept banging the table. oh and i kept TSK-ing, ha ha, not forgetting talking to myself! ha ha, sorry Daryl, guess i talked too loud and it affected you? Sorry! my heart was beating so fast and i felt so breathless! oh my, ha ha, i never ever felt so nervous for an e maths paper before! i crushed my paper in frustration, so it was rather loud. ha ha, i think i was the nosiest girl during the exam lah. ha ha.
oh yes, yesterday's core lit paper two was horrible! i can't even smell F9! it's that bad ok. i even had time to stare into space and plan my schedule for the time after exam. ha ha. i did the paper with much anger because the night before i read through lime-tree bower and when i was doing the paper, i couldn't remember any of my points! bleah, and section A was worse, i actually handed in a crashed before paper. ha ha, so funny. bleah.
hope that my a maths papers will be fine, plus its the last two already, so i hope i will end my last ever mid -year exam in kc with a good note. english oral should be fine, not much to worry for.
i think i can spot chapters and questions very well. ha ha, so far i spotted all the chapters. YAY! HOWEVER, i didn't study those that i spotted! WOW! except for ss, the rest i didn't study those chapters i spotted. i just knew that they will come out lah, but i just didn't care i guess. or maybe i just didn't believe my gut feel. bleah, should have listen to myself! fine, i shall burn my june holidays with ballet and books!!!
i can't wait for exams to be over! i swear i'll exercise till i drop! ha ha, i feel like going to ECP! i wanna run run run! exercise! oh and i can't wait for my bike to come! wooo hooo~ yay! hey B2, i'll be able to cycle with you after i get my bike! woo hoo! yay. i guess, i have thought through my problems and am fine already? yeh, i really feel thankful for all my friends and some of my teachers for giving me the support and listening ear. yeh, i guess its not really troubling me anymore. ha ha, good thing yeh? ha ha, i have learn to look and concentrate on the positive things and not care about the negative stuff so much. anyway, my life is controlled by me, i make the final decision to the path in my life. external influences will only aid me to my decision, they cannot force me or decide for me, whatmore they have their own life to worry for. yay!
its not easy to lead a happy life, yet everyone wants to take up that challenge. well me too, anything we go through is worth it, that's how we learn to treasure our life even more. i don't think its greedy to keep seeking for more happiness, cause that's what brightens our life. The pursuit of happiness will never end, it will continue forever, cause that's the challenge that i decided to accept in life. we live to be happy that's why!

~It's my life~

------------------------ JJ TAN H.O.W in the W.O.W ------------------------

2007-01-16T21:32:00.000+08:00

HEY!

bad day today! alright not totally bad, but maybe only at the later part of the day. i reached school super early today, i think around 6.40 to 6.45. ya, and ok the awkward feeling again but i guess we have to settle it among ourselves. i think we can, don't be too troubled ok, stay happy.
yeh, so the first half of the day was happy, happy and more happy. then comes the assembly part, ahhhh. so irritating!!! ahhhh, we did so much ok, we rushed the girls, we shouted at them, we scolded them and yet she said," STUDENT COUNCILLORS, YOU ARE OF NO HELP!" like, what? we did so so much ok. ahhhh, i was so angry that i shivered in anger and i broke down after that lah. ok shall not go into details about it. yeh, so remedial and then support group. after that i went home and i just started thinking about everything that happened and all the WHYs started haunting my brain. ahhh, then i started recalling the past 3 years in kc. i really miss the time we spent together, the childish things we do together, the scoldings, all the prefect stuffs, all the SC stuffs,1/5, 2/5, 3/4, and many other stuffs. i can't help but miss the past, i know i have to move on, but right now there is so many problems and i feel so mixed up. my mind is in a mess sometimes and i just can't think. its nice reminiscing the past, but i just couldn't control my tears, so i started crying. ahhh, such a sad day today. ok anyway i also don't know what i'm typing, ha ha. yeh, anyway i wanna thank all those who cheered me up today and also those who comforted me! i really feel better now, thank you so much!

~reminiscing the good memories~

------------------- JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W --------------------

2007-01-23T22:28:00.000+08:00

BOO!
hey everyone, i think i'm getting happier and happier each day, yay! That's a very good thing! i guess its because a lot of my internal problems had been solved and i'm starting to love my class, 4/4! ha ha, i'm laughing in class everyday, which is a good sign, it means that i'm happy! Thank you 4/4! i know i did a lot of stupid and lame things in class, but i'm glad that you all did not ignore me or think that i'm weird, ha ha. you all joined in the fun! ha ha, that's what i call an united class! ha ha, i'm suddenly so happy to be in 4/4! ha ha.
thanks to my BUDDY too! thanks for your non-stop constipated laugh during core lit and tjoe's non-stop funny expressions and comments! ha ha, i love core lit lessons, its so fun, the three of us will be laughing like nobody's business, ha ha! thanks thanks!
oh yes and thanks to your MANY food, ha ha. i eat a lot lah, must walk from eunos mrt. ha ha, i'm always eating my chang kee kee whenever i go for tuition! ha ha, oh yes, tuition another laughing seesion, ha ha, all of us will be so noisy and crapping all the way ! ha ha, noisy bunch of ppl. ha ha, but its super fun lah. ha ha.
yeh, thank you a lot of ppl, buddy, ex-cos, cells, suzy, ballet friends, tuition friends, juniors, the ppl who gave me darkness, my welfare com, seniors, sec 4 and 5 councillors, 4/4 classmates, and many more... thank you for making me so happy and letting me enjoy every single second i have spent! haha, i'm so glad to be happy! all of you too ok, especially you and you! ha ha, shall not mention names, ha ha, but i guess you and you know! ha ha!
i want to go for camp too! i don't want to study, i want to play! haha, ok i have to study, O level year, whooo~ cannot play anymore! boo hoo, anyway, i'll strive to do my best amd also not stress up myself! go! go! go!

~what is more important than being happy~

------------------- JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W ---------------------

2007-04-18T23:18:00.000+08:00

HEY!!!

I'm currently suffering from depression! ha ha, feeling the extremes! rahhh--- ha ha, ok i think i'm too stress? but that shouldn't be the case because i am so slack? ha ha, anyway, thanks to that YY always make me laugh during chinese and tuition. especially today when we are heading home from tuition, ha ha, so funny lah! caused me to..... ha ha, shall not say. ok, i think we kind of embarrassed ourselves with that "shake it" song. ha ha, i kept controlling my laughter in the bus ok, ha ha, i can't laugh, if not ppl will think that i'm crazy.If i were to describe my day by plotting a graph, it will be like the roller coaster you sit in TOKYO DISNEYLAND!!! ha ha. tuition was fun, sat with dorothy and we laugh our ass off! ha ha, oh and i keep saying "lame shit" each time dotty say something lame. ha ha, here's another interesting conversation in tuition,
ME: eh, can let me see your answer?
DOT: who say you can see?
ME: tsk tsk. pass me the biscuit, i wanna eat.
*dotty pass me the biscuit and we each took one*
ME: eh, your mouth got hole ah, eat until like that? how to do the qn ah?
DOT: *use her hand cover* don't let you see, ha ha ha!
ME: lame shit lah!
*both of us burst out laughing*
DOT: the shit can walk!
ME: so you mean your shit walk out of the toilet bowl? no wonder your toilet so dirty!
*everyone burst out laughing*

ha ha, oh my gosh, its damn funny lah, plus YY's nonsense, ha ha, made tuition so fun and happy today. ha ha, ok ok tmr shall be a happy day too! ha ha, thanks a lot for all the laughter my friends!

~SHAKE IT~

---------------------- JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W ------------------------

2007-04-30T23:22:00.000+08:00

HEY!

yo! i'm so happy now! ha ha, just came back from ballet. yay! class was cool today and i perspired so so so much that my leotard and tights were all wet! my towel too! ha ha, i started perspiring to minute my teacher ask us to join the juniors with allegro! ha ha, yay! i'm so satisfied with today's class, i really worked and body! so much better than the class on saturday! ha ha, we did so many jumps today, ok not really a lot lah. ha ha, oh oh oh my calf muscle cramped up will stretching! oh my, so pain lah, i'm aching at my calf from saturday. yeh, ha ha, just tense up itself and i have no choice but to let go. ha ha. i'm so happy with my right doubles today! ha ha, basically i'm just too happy to be able to dance again! i love advance foundation work! it just kills you and make you do nothing else but work your body! yay, now i have my own class every monday, so monday will now be my fav day? ha ha.
oh today's chinese paper suck lah. ha ha, i didn't understand passage B and i had to read it again despite reading so so slowly. ha ha, yeh, summary was a killer lah. ha ha, i think my HCL paper was so much worse than my english paper! oh my, that shouldn't be the case. ha ha. i'm not really sad over it, yeh. ha ha, oh and i think my zuo wen was rubbish. ha ha, i'm going to fail my paper and get last in class again! ha ha, i don't think anyone can beat my record. ha ha, oh but i'm happy that i managed my time well enough to be able to start on my summary. ha ha.
oh yeh, all the best for mid years my friends! sk, cass, ally, ex-cos, W.O.W members :), ballet friends, B2 ( said relunctantly) ha ha, ok kidding, sec 4/4 and to all my other friends. yeh, everyone! ha ha.
woooooo, last year in kc, so i shall make full use of the time i have with the school. i guess i have found that happiness while i was dancing today! that happiness that everyone is pursuing for! yeh.

" you can't change the environment to complement yourself, you can only change yourself to adapt to the environment!" ----- rmb that yeh, good for you! yes yes A LITTLE BIT OF PAIN IS GOOD FOR YOU!

~YAY~

------------------ JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W -----------------