ballet

2009-01-21T22:37:00.001+08:00

moved to http://dancefanaticme.livejournal.com

2008-04-24T22:03:00.002+08:00

I HATE SCHOOL I HATE SCHOOL I HATE SCHOOL I HATE SCHOOL!!! AHHH!

i can't take this anymore. i hate school, i hate everything about school. i dread to go to school, it feels like a prison to me. ahhhh, i hate it! nvm, no one will understand it. its MY feelings anyway. i can't take it anymore. i have reached my limit.
ok fine, i know its my fault, its my fault to take up so many things, it my fault to be so lazy, its my fault to not do work, its my fault to talk in class, but must you do this to me? what's wrong with you, if you want to scold me then scold la, why must you go one big round just to shoot me. must you do that in class? must you compare and give that sarcastic tone? what's wrong? at least i improve right? i'm late anymore. i don't care if you find out that i'm talking about you, because i'm just venting my anger at my blog. plus your name is not stated so you have no prove to say that i'm scolding you. i hate this, why must be restricted even when writing on our own blog. i hate this, i hate school, i hate the school policy, i hate everything. i have nothing to look forward to, i have nothing to achieve, i have nothing to gain. ahhhh, please look at my strength and look at my improvements, i hate all the scoldings and nagging from you. what i need is encouragement and its lacking from you. stop thinking that you are giving your best to help us or even me because you are not. i hate this, i can't stand this. what is wrong? I NEED HELP! DO YOU GET ME? I NEED HELP! how can i do my work when i'm always so tired? and when i don't do my work i'll be penalised and get suspended. i hate this, i don't ask for extra time because i know no one will ever listen to me. no one will accept what i say, my reasons. they will just ask me to manage my time well, and then they will compare. why can others do it and not you? whatever la, different ppl have different strength and weaknesses right. i hate it, i'm so tired of explaining and getting scolded. do you know that there are many times that i almost break down in class? no you don't, because i held back my tears and pretended to laugh. I HATE THIS. ahhhhh i look forward to holidays much more than the rest. ahhhh, i don't feel like going back to that prison. if you find out, i hope you know how much i hate you.

2008-01-23T23:51:00.000+08:00

AHHHHH! I'M FEELING VERY HORRIBLE NOW NOW NOW! AND RESULTS ARE COMING OUT TMR!

I don't know what's wrong with me but i feel like stopping this. stop stop stop this feeling stop stop stop what i'm doing stop stop stop everything! no more! i can't take it anymore! i can't commit i can't prioritise it i can't ..... ahhhh! bleah! i hate this i hate this!!!!

ok whatever-- i'll just drop this now, right at this moment!

ok i'm really enjoying myself in TPJC! the people there are nice, my class is cool, my CCAs are fun! ahhhh, i was surprised that i actually like the school. now thinking about it, i don't mind staying in TPJC! haha, all depends on tmr's results! ahhh, so scary! ok anyway, i will really miss my friends in TPJC if i ever have to leave that school. yeh, i really enjoy every single moment in there. the tutors are nice and it motivates me to work hard! ahhhhhh, ok my feelings are all mixed up now and i can't think properly. haha.

ROCK OR SWORD? which do you prefer?

~ stop it now~

------------------------ JJ Tan --------------------------

2008-01-06T21:54:00.000+08:00

BOOO!

alright, i seriously don't understand why i have a blog because i don't blog everyday. haha. anyway, its 2008 already and means no more KC no more dark alley no more 4/4 no more familiar faces ( except for a few ) no more warmth no more KC smell no more KC food no more KC!!! ahhh! booohooo! so sad, anyway tpjc is not bad too! haha, well it was rather boring on the first day of orientation. i only started to like tpjc from the second day. orientation lasted for only 2 days and poof lectures starts. oh my the audi is so cold like Antarctica! haha, anyway the lectures were quite interesting and it kind of influenced me to like tpjc more. yeh, and we sign-up for our CCAs already. i'm in rock climbing and wushu! haha, how cool is that. oh yeh, wow! haha, we saw mr kuah there at tpjc, he forced the KCians to join wushu. yeh, so what to do, just join lor. haha yeh. can't wait for cca to start! ahhh, rock climbing! i'm going to have really nice muscles in my body! he he.

today's a great day! i love today, and every other day. BUDDY! BUDDY BUDDY BUDDY! haha.

i love the time spent together! it's always the best! haha. i'll always replay the special moments we had when i have nothing to do. sometimes i still can feel you when i'm replaying it. haha. weeeeee! so fun! so exciting! haha. there's so much more to say but i know i don't have to say it out because there's no need to. its all in the heart. haha! weeeee! so fun so fun!

i'm thinking thinking thinking thinking thinking about......... haha not for you to know! weeeeeeeeeeee! naughty naughty, i like being naughty! haha. ballet tmr! yay advance class = good workout class .

~baby deer~

2007-12-25T21:13:00.000+08:00

BUDDY! BUDDY! BUDDY!

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! HAHA!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

2007-12-20T00:49:00.000+08:00

19th DEC 2007!

2007-11-24T23:05:00.000+08:00

I have ended my KC years.... bleah!

how i will miss my days in KC! ahhhh, i'll miss my friends, the building of my school, fitness rm, dark alley(haha), teachers, everything!!! yeh, all my happy memories and the sad ones too! i realise KC is the place when i can really present the real me! haha, weeee! oh man, i'm going to miss miss miss miss miss KC! i will definitely miss council too! all the hard work that we all put in, all the sweat and tears we have given! i just love everything about KC!!!
so now i have currently devoted my life to ballet. BALLET BALLET BALLET everyday! cool! i'm aching all over and it is so painful that it hurts even when i sit on the toilet bowl! anyway i like the pain, but not the process of getting the pain. haha! well well, A LITTLE BIT OF PAIN IS GOOD FOR YOU!
BUDDYBUDDYBUDDYBUDDYBUDDYBUDDYBUDDYBUDDYBUDDYBUDDYBUDDYBUDDYBUDDYBUDDYBUDDYBUDDY!!!

~i miss you~

------------------- JJTan ex H.O.W. in the W.O.W.-----------------------------

2007-10-27T15:21:00.000+08:00

O LEVELS! AHHHHHHHH!

ha ha, i hope i do well man! i'll show you you you that i can! muahahaha! oops, i feel so evil and competitive! haha, la la la. i want my A1 for a maths, my A1 for e maths, my distinction for science!!! ahhhh, geog was super hard and i hope my ss will pull it up up up. as for english, i hope i'll be able to write well on monday. haha, oh my my, i'm scared! i hope my core lit will get A2 which i am praying hard for! ahhhhh! ok ok, i'm going crazy! O level is ending in 2 weeks time for me! yay! ok ok, la la la, english english here i come! haha

~opposites attract~

---------------- JJ Tan (ex) H.O.W in the W.O.W.---------------

2007-09-25T22:35:00.000+08:00

HEY!

well well well, prelims are over and i received horrible results! haha, yeh so disappointing. that's the only consequence for not studying hard enough, did i even study? haha. ok ok, so i am hoping for a miracle to happen now. english and core lit to get an A2. haha! I know this will never happen. right, i feel a little odd now because i haven't been blogging for a long long time. haha. I hope i'll get at least a B4 for science, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! ahhhh, i have so many results which only requires me to get just ONE more mark to jump one grade up. haha, well well, what to do, i just have to accept what i get. i can't believe i did so badly for my E and A maths. bleah--- so, bad results = horrible L1R5 = Bye Bye first 3 months. yes yes, guess my only hope is Os. possible? YES! IF i work extra hard for it. TJ is getting very far away from me. OH NO!
today is the last mass for all Sec 4E/5N. it was umm no comments. haha, not as great as last year. there were birds last year to symbolise something which i forgotten, haha, but there was nothing this year! boohooo, not even an ant! it seemed more like a normal mass than a farewell mass. hai, nvm. i don't wanna leave KC! boohoo, i'll miss everything in KC! EVERYTHING! ahhhhhh! i feel so crazy now. haha.
pray hard for good results!!!

~O level~

--------------------- JJ Tan (ex)H.O.W in the W.O.W.----------------

2007-08-09T23:13:00.000+08:00

BOO!

so, yesterday 8th of august 2007 marks the end of my ex-co journey in kc 1st students' council. i guess yesterday was a day that i cried the most! haha, how much i treasured being a kc councillor, how much i love the councillors, how much tears i have shed, how much laughing gas i have produced, and how much more i could do. yeh, installation was really a meaningful one. i cried even before going up on stage and sorry Lia i made you cry too. yeh, i guess my journey from prefect to council was really an interesting one. i reached rock bottom many many times and even wanted to give up, but i'm glad i pulled through, and ended the race that i've started. i wanna thank every single councillor for making my life filled with much joy and laughter. i felt so warm during community singing, seeing everyone so united and singing "HOME" together. yes i cried, haha, i felt like a cry baby but i just couldn't help it. reminiscing all the memories i had through council makes me feel that all the things that i've gone through is worth it. i've grown so much and made so many friends, friends who treated me like sisters, friends who i can count on. i felt as if i had a second family.

thanks a lot to my welfare com members for pushing me through, if not for all of you, i would have given up the role as the head of welfare. i've always looked forward to welfare meeting, where we gossip and laugh at almost everything. oh yes, i'll miss the times when all of you whine and try get your way out from doing the quote of the day. haha, its really funny though i'll have a hard time trying to persuade all of you. i know for myself that i haven't been a really good com head but at least i created a bond within the welfare com. thanks a lot for all of your time and effort. we may not be the ideal com but we are the most united! i really love my welfare com, i know how much each and everyone of you supported me. although i'm reluctant to let go, i'm sure all of you will not let me down and continue with the tradition! welfare com shall always be united and not leave anyone out! thank you!

thanks a lot to the seniors for always going crazy and giving me advise! all of you have made a great impact in my life. thank you so much for always not giving up and also going crazy with me! the friendship between us is very strong, so strong that it'll never break. i'm so glad that at least we were given a chance to understand each other and also a chance to work together! if not for the camp, i guess we will not have such great bond between us. thank you for going through the journey together ever since i was a trainee. thank you for all the help given, you all did not fail to put a smile on my face!

thanks a lot to my dearest ex co for always guiding me through the tough times. i'm really sorry for whatever i've done before that hurt all of you. really really sorry. i'm glad i went back on track and brought myself back into ex co! without the support of all of you, i wouldn't have finish this journey as an ex-co. i would have really let go everything. i guess all the hard times brought all of us closer. really sorry that i'm always not there for all the outings and always isolating myself. all of you have been so patient with me. i'm really glad to have all of you, especially at times when i'm so irritated by her over all the welfare stuff. sorry for always venting out my anger and shouting for no apparent reason during meetings. no more meetings during recess! boohooo!

thanks a lot to all the juniors, all of you have never fail to make me smile. being the playful me, i guess all of you have tasted the pinch before. haha, weeeeeee. how fun! thank you for all the cute smiles! haha, yeh cute! weeeee, especially the sec 2s, thanks a lot for always acknowledging me with those vigorous wave. haha, to all the sec 3s, thank you so much for going through so much with me. to the ex-junior councillors, thank you for all your support since last year, i'll never forget the times we spend together, doing duties, playing, camps....etc. to all the sec 3 ex-trainees, thank you so much for always giving your best. you all sure motivated me to work harder! though we only worked together for less than a year, i can still feel a strong bond between us! thank you so much!

ok this is going to be a very long post, so if you are tired of reading, you can come back later. haha.

ok so, what's life being a councillor? i guess being in the council, my life has became more meaningful. it added so much colours to my life and it allows me to have something for me to aim for. sometimes, it is tough being a councillor, espcially when we are suppose to be role models. its kind of hard for me because of my playful character, but i'm glad i pulled through this. its hard being a councillor and i've break down so many times due to all the shit that the teachers gave and also the stress to meet datelines and all. its even worse being the ex-co of the 1st students' council. i believe we didn't have much support from the teachers as well as the student body. this made it much harder for us to play the role of the bridge between the teachers and the student body, because both end didn't give enough support and so the bridge was rather unstable. yeh, i didn't like the fact that we were all alone working for nothing and so i started to dread all the things that got to do with council. i started to not give my best and do last minute work. i guess at that time, i wasn't a good role model for the school and also for my juniors. yeh, then i guess something struck me and i decided to strive hard again, and that's when i really found myself enjoying my life in kc. students' council have indeed made my life in kc much more interesting. facing all the challenges and building up the confidence to bring ppl together actually is quite fun. haha, to be who i am now, i have to really be very thankful to be a councillor. i change a lot ever since i join prefects, i've found my true friends, i've became more aware of myself and my surrounding. i'm proud to be a councillor, i wish i could do more. hai, kind of regret not doing much more when i was still a councillor. i had so many things in mind, but i guess i was too lazy to execute it? haha, yeh, anyway i'm currently having a mental block, haha, so all i want to say is thank you for having a chance to be a councillor.

for everyone who hasn't step down, don't give up! the last thing you should think of is to give up. if all of us just give up when we make a mistake or when we face challenges, then we will never be able to taste success. the climax of a show is always in the middle and what we go through is more important. as long as we know that we gave our best, we will have no regrets. everyone will fall at times, even the most capable person will break down through this journey, it all depends on us. how do you stand up? using your own feet right? thousands of ppl can be pulling you up from that fall, but it all depends on you to stand upright on your own feet. whenever you feel alone, look around you, you will find that you have your family and friends to fall back on. NEVER SAY DIE! haha, work hard yeh!

oh yes, i have to thank my buddy too! thank you buddy for always being there for me and ever so willing to collect my rubbish. haha, i'm so glad to have such a buddy! a buddy who never complains when i vent, a buddy who shares her life story with me, a buddy who makes me laugh, a buddy who is so similar to me, a buddy who is willing to spend time with me, a buddy who always encourages and motivates me, a buddy who is like my sister ....etc. i hope my buddy will stay happy and not give up. i hope my buddy will always feel motivated and not be sad anymore. i hope to see my buddy laugh like before and i hope my buddy will push through this tough time! go go go buddy! believe in yourself, i'll carry you through this journey, till you are ready to walk on your own. thank you buddy!

i am going to miss every single thing i did in kc when i graduate. KC has brought much meaning into my life. KC allowed me to know the importance of friends and also the imprtance of believing in youself. the only person that you can truly 100% rely on is yourself, so if you yourself don't believe then who will?

~i am a councillor~

-------------------------JJTan (ex)H.O.W in the W.O.W--------------------------

2007-07-20T22:48:00.000+08:00

BOO!

ok so i guess i have been feeling really weird these few days. i'm having extreme mood swings again! yeh, it sucks. whatever i do, be it going crazy in class, quarrelling with friends....... i still know that my heart is feeling the same way. its a feeling that is indescribable. at this rate i'm going, i'll do really badly for my O levels. i have not started studying for any subject. i'm starting to panic but i'm not doing anything to ease that feeling. alright, i HAVE to start. i really have to. ok i have to help myself, no one can help me without the support of me, myself and I!
alright, my mind is currently blank and my heart is sinking. its as though i have to hold on to it, if not it may just drop all the way to the floor. it has this sharp pain also whenever it gets "attacked". yeh, i hope this feeling will go away soon. it was so hard for me to smile. this is bad, because my smile is the one that brings me joy and happiness plus onfidence. ok all i can say now is, i can't cheer up because my heart has already sank, not sinking but sank. alright, smile everyone.

~if only i could~

---------------------JJ TAN H.O.W in the W.O.W.----------------------

2007-07-13T21:48:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF!

yay! so today is a very special day for me! haha, weeeee. thanks a lot to all my friends, they gave me so many presents! i felt so loved! haha, yeh thanks a lot to yuen ying, li jia (licky), kai boon, chia pei, joey, angelina, samantha tan, dorothy, my W.O.W ppl ( charmaine tay, heda, vicki, heidi foo, zaharah, zakiah, Lia, gillian, allyson, gabrielle, filzah and charmaine tan ), my dearest ex-cos ( soek khern, wei zhen, victoria, sanam, alicia, crystal, cheryl ng, andrea tjoe and priscilla ), my class 4/4, SNORMPITLE ( cassandra, soek khern and alicia ), my BUDDY and also not forgetting my mummy! yeh, oh yes and also thank you to all those who wrote me small little notes and wishing me happy birthday! oh you know, my birthday is the same as serene! haha, thanks a lot for the present! happy birthday to you! today is such a memorable day! i guess its my best birthday ever!!! thanks a lot buddy especially! what a birthday today! so interesting! haha, weeeeeeeee. i feel so happy! yeh so its friday the 13th, but its a lucky day and a happy day for me! haha, i just can't stop smiling today! i went cycling with buddy! weeeeeeee, so fun!
i laughed so much in class! weeee, esp at ash and licky! haha, gym with sharon! so fun! i love the trackmill! we ran only 7 mins plus. haha, but its still fun! weeeeeee! that's about today. my wonderful birthday!

~happy birthday~

-----------------JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W ---------------------

2007-06-28T22:44:00.000+08:00

BOO!

so, school has started and its really time to buck up. ok let's see, 9 weeks to prelims!!! minus off the sleeping time, the chatting time, the build clouds time (haha) and so on, i only left with 45 days to study 7 subjects!!! CHEER! haha, first week of school will be the "finish up your homework" week. let's see, i'm still left with chinese, english, biology and core lit!!! wow! ok i'm so going to die tmr for chinese because i didn't hand in most of the work. yeh, so pls say your last goodbye to me now! if i survive, i will say hello again! haha. SS class test tmr and i haven't study. i tried opening my book, but i'm not sure what to study? yeh, she gave us the question already, so means we just have to study the points for that question. yupp, i feel so lost! oh well....
i feel motivated to study nowadays (with the exception of today :D ), so its good! i can see glimpse of light in front of me! at least no longer surviving in darkness. haha, surprisingly, i feel happier now. maybe because i am able to let go or rather not care. haha, maybe i'm more matured now! yes yes yes. haha, oh and there are so many changes in timetable and other arrangments. I HAVE 15 PERIODS OF MATHS NOW!!! oh my, sucking out all my brain cells. haha, and weeeee PE is now on monday and its no longer the first two periods. oh man! ok, i shall comment about recess too. IT'S SO SO SO SO SO CROWDED AND I HAVE TO QUEUE FOR SO LONG BEFORE I CAN GET MY FOOD! oh and here's an achievement, me and soekiie gobbled down our mee soup and drinks in 5 mins time! how cool is that, esp when somebody with the name of TAN JIA JIA is such a slow eater. haha.
i think lessons are real fun when licky and chiaps doing stupid stuff. haha, and today's chem was finally a good one. i actually learnt something! weeee! hope that all the chem lessons will continue to be like this. yay! oh and i really love to have english oral lessons where i learn how to pronounce the words. i find it really interesting, and its also funny looking at licky pronouncing the words. haha. i guess i just like it. haha.
alright, i shall get going with SS and chinese before i get killed tmr.

~bored~

----------------------JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W.--------------------------

2007-06-17T19:43:00.000+08:00

BOO!

Is there a person who is insignificantly significant to you? If that's a yes, then you probably will understand how i feel.

So maybe,
- you just knew that the person likes the same thing as you and does the same thing you like when the person is younger. you only knew that recently and you felt guilty but a sense of closeness.
- you just knew that the person feels lonely at times and hopes that you will be there but you don't even bother to make time for that person, maybe you do but you always dread it.
- you suddenly remember the days you spend together with the person when you were younger and you hope to go back to the past but you know it will never happen. as a result, you feel sad.
- you hope to do something for the person, but you always delay and in the end you just can't be bothered to do it and you just give up. you never once think that it may be too late when you finally want to do something for that person.
- you take that person for granted and you always get influenced and you even started to dislike the person, but everytime when you see that person, you regret feeling that way.
- you forget the person's birthday and you only remembered it the day after. you felt guilty but didn't even call back to ask about the person.
- you suddenly felt that there is nothing to say between the two of you. you feel the awkward silence and you realised that you have to think very hard just to come out with a conversation.
- you want the person to know more about you, but you just can't seem to be able to say out your problems. you suddenly feel that the only way is just to say all the positive things about yourself.
- you feel sad whenever you discuss about the past with that person, the memories that the two of you share are happy, but its the fact that it may not happen again that make you feel sad.
- you realised that you can't crack anymore jokes when you see that person, because it doesn't come out naturally anymore.
- you took a good look at the person's recent photo and you realised that it looked different already. you know that you have to cherish the time with the person but you just don't know how.
- you feel sad whenever you think of the past and you feel like telling that person, but its just so hard. you don't wanna cry infront of that person and so you just try to stop thinking.

Is that how you feel? well maybe. haha, let's talk about my childhood. haha, i remember i always go to the park and i will always cycle there. then i will always play at the playground, it will always be the monkey barre and the swing. i will always try to climb up by the sides of the door in my house and then call for help when i'm stuck. i love the feeling when i'm being lifted up by two people while we hold hands and walk back home after dinner. i always like to be fetched home and not by school bus. i remember always going to the arcade whenever i feel like it and i will spend a long time there. i remember playing basketball, but i couldn't shoot because i was too small. i remember the times i was on my scooter, riding it around the void deck. my mum didn't allow actually, but i just secretly ride it. i remember playing table tennis and always winding whenever i lose the game. haha. i remember being the messenger at home, running room to room just to send simple messagers. i remember going for computer lessons and all i do is just sit there and play games. haha. ok and many many more playful things. haha, so when i was young, i was very playful and naughty. haha, but naughty in the good way. haha, i am always so active and i would run around from place to place and playing all kinds of games i can find. my favourite place is the playground! i love the playground, because that's where i can show off my talent at swinging, balancing ....... yeh, my all time favourie food is curry! haha, and i always love the days when i get to eat my grandma's curry! haha

ok, so you can imagine how adorable i am when i'm young!!! haha, so active and playful! haha, so i guess i am like this now too? haha, yeh.

weeeeeeeee, cycling was so fun yesterday! haha, " eh eh this is zebra crossing!" "haiya whatever lah!" haha. so funny! the sky was so nive yesterday! it seems like the sea and the sky were fused together! haha, so misty but yet so soothing. i just love to stare at the sky, it makes me think. it gives me a sense of comfort and it makes me happy! haha, that's when i will form my cloud house or create my own cloud dance. haha, yeh. i truly think buddyhood is a nice word! haha, and its good to have a buddy.

~happy father's day~

-------------------- JJTan H.O.W. in the W.O.W. -------------------

2007-06-15T00:37:00.000+08:00

BOO!

YAY! ok today's a happy day! i watched shrek 3! haha, its so funny! i laugh so much during the movie until my stomach so pain! haha, so funny! i just love that movie! haha. yes so i went out with wei zhen and B2!!! haha, great fun and as usual my favorite jap shop wasn't open! oh man, but i still got high in HMV, after seeing all the jap CDs! haha, yeh and i got so high at the movie section too! so funny! HI, MY NAME IS HARRY POTTER! haha! ok right now, there is this bug that refuses to fly out of my house! and i don't seem to be able to kill it! argh, its giving me goosebumps! haha, ok anyway back to today. haha, we went to kinokuniya too! weeeee, and i saw so many jap books and magazines! haha, and we laughed so much when we were at the learning japanese section. haha, someone actually put that gatsby song as their ringtone!!! haha, I CAN GIVE YOU GATSBY! so funny! oh my, haha, its cool too lah! haha, weeee. yes yes, today is such a fun day! and we squeezed into the mrt train when we were going home. haha, I HAVE A VERY GOOD BALANCING SKILL! YES YES, unlike someone! haha, oops!
HI MY NAME IS HARRY POTTER!
HARRY POTTER IS MY NAME!
SO WHAT'S MY NAME? HARRY POTTER!
SO HARRY POTTER IS..? MY NAME!
AND SO I AM HARY POTTER!
haha, ok that's crap lah, but its so funny! haha, weeeeeeee! laugh laugh laugh! weeeeeee! i'm going cycling tmr with B2! weeeeeeeeee! can't wait! cycle cycle cycle! haha.
oh saturday is coming! and i'm so glad that we finished the dance! oh oh oh, and i'm dancing for pris!!! haha, so cool right? pris is singing the duet with another guy and we are her backup dancer! haha, weeeeee! combine rehearsal this sat! i'm quite scared, plus we are going there on our own, haha, ok we can do it! hope that we will not make any mistakes! practice before hand ok! haha! weeeeeee! i think the dance turned out quite ok, haha. not bad not bad!
TMR ------- MUGGING, CYCLING, BALLET..........THE END!

~ha ha ha~

---------------------- JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W --------------------

2007-06-12T00:40:00.000+08:00

BOO!

oh my, i am so exhausted! guess i'm too busy. haha, oh am i just making myself busy? haha, anyway an achievement today. i'm suppose to choreograph a 4min 43secs dance by today! but i didn't of course, i'm not so super, haha. at least i covered 3mins and 30secs. haha, yay! i just knew that i have to choreograph it only today! oh my, i got a shock of my life when my teacher pass me the cd and tell me about this. oh my my! haha, i am so stress? haha, but it was fun even though my brain cells are all sucked out! haha, weeeee. just pray hard that it will work out and the combine rehearsal is this saturday! oh my! haha. ok, i must say i'm quite please with what i have done so far, though its a little messy. haha, hope that things will be better and that i can come out with better and nicer steps! weeee!
haha, i feel like going cycling! i just love cycling now. haha, wind wind wind! haha. oh i realised that i don't have much time left to catch up with my school work and i'm starting to panic? i always get so frightened whenever i think of my O levels. what if i do badly? what if i can't get into the school that i want? do i still have time left? can i do it? oh man!
ok so meeting on wednesday, ok frankly speaking, i don't really feel like going. haha, oh man, the third day of the third week! argh~ meant for shrek 3 lah. ok anyways, its important so i shall drag myself there. haha.
i think the sec 3 councillors are doing a good job on the racial harmony day skit. weeee, good good! haha, keep it up yeh, hope that the skit will turn out well and hope that ms T will approve it. well done!
weeeeeeee, ok i hope i can cover many chapters of all my work and improve at least 3 grades for each subject! i have to anyway, O levels is like 4 months away? oh my, that's so fast! ahhhh, and i still have gazillion homework to do! ok ok, I can do it! go go go! i shall devote my time to study and mug all the way! yes yes! weeeee! haha.

~study hard~

---------------------JJTan H.O.W in the W.O.W.-------------------------

2007-06-05T23:18:00.000+08:00

YO!

weeeee, i can't express how high i am now! haha. i just came back from ballet and i think today was a tiring but great day. first was school then was teachers' course then jazz class and finally ballet class! weeeee, the best part is, i didn't bring my towel! haha, so cool hurh! haha. anyway, i am aching really badly now and i think it will be worse tmr. haha, oh well, i like the pain so its alright.
so council camp just ended not long ago and it was great fun, in fact the best camp i have ever gone to. haha, ok because i thought the bond in the council was so great that i just can't stop being happy! weeeee, so first day was fine, the sec 4s and 5s had to go for structured lessons first, oh man! haha, then council camp for us officially starts at 2.30! haha, oh and my group is SEISHOU ! weeeeee, it means spirit in jap and my group is suppose to be one spirit! yeh, and weeeeeee my group members consist of VICKI, MELISSA, AMANDA, JING HONG, AVELYN, HEIDI, CELESTE, NURUL, GILLIAN and not forgetting but partner SANAM ! WEEEEE, yeh cool group. haha, though the first night was rather uh-hem, but at least we realised how much the seniors have supported us! i really thank the seniors for their help and their support. i am so glad that they contributed whole-heartedly and helped us so much during the camp and also while planning for the camp! alright so i couldn't sleep the first night, haha, partly was due to the icy cold atmosphere in the gym! haha, yeh. anyway, i was in charge of morning call and i successfully accomplished my job! Aren't you all happy for me? haha, i am so proud of myself! haha, oh yes second day was fun, i led the exercise and it was great fun. haha, happy aching to all of you after the "ballet" session! haha, weeeee, yeh, i think the best part was the water games, i got so high lah. haha, i love getting wet so water games are really cool! haha, yeh, and oh yes yes then we had to clear up and Vicki and hinna showed us a performance, haha. it was hilarious man and so they decided to perform during the campfire! haha, so funny, i literally roll on the floor! haha. yeh and finally campfire! weeeee, so fun, oh yeh once again i was so high! haha, the cheers were so fun and i think i sort of lose my voice after leading the cheers. weeeeee, oh and then half way through Cheryl came to help me and she did her spastic cheer! haha, oh i think the best part was the friendship dance, at the last part i got quite emotional and i suddenly realised that its my last year in KC! oh my my. ok then home sweet home but some of us stayed to clear up. haha, thanks a lot for all the warm fuzzies! i love them! i always feel so good when reading the warm fuzzies. no wonder its called warm fuzzies, because it gives you and makes you feel warm!
sorry for not giving any warm fuzzies, i really had no time to write. yeh, but i want all of you to know how grateful i am! i wanna thank all the juniors and trainees for being so enthu about every activities and also trying to get high during the campfire. i wanna thank SEISHOU for having such good team spirit although we were the last. haha, SEISHOU SEICHILL! i wanna thank the seniors for always being there for us to support us! the seniors are so supportive! you guys are great! without you all, i don't we can go through the whole camp. without all of your joy and laughter, the camp will not be fun. without all of your encouragement and enthusiasm, we won't be able to plan such a great night walk! whatever it is, i really wanna thank all the seniors! thank you ex cos, for always being there for me. thank you for going through all the tough time together. although sometimes there may be misunderstandings, but we somehow or rather can always pull through. thank you Cheryl for always being there to support and encourage me. always there to make sure everything is fine. thank you for always show your commitments towards all the things! thank you Wei zhen for always being there for me and hearing me out. thank you for sharing too. i guess we became closer through the camp. thank you for always accompanying me when we buy food and all. thank you soek khern for understanding me! thank you for always lending your wonderful ear and allowing me to have fun too! i am glad we are feeling better now. thank you Victoria for being with me during the night walk. we spend our night in the pitch dark council room playing cards and chatting. thank you for always being my ballet friend! thank you priscilla for always getting so high with me. thank you for always being so lame during the music game. thank you crystal for always doing stupid things that will make me laugh! thank you for choosing my cap too with andrea. haha, thank you andrea tjoe for always doing stupid actions with me. thank you for lending me your shoulder during the campfire.thank you for your support! thank you alicia tan for always laughing at my lameness. thank you for pulling through so well. really, i am really glad to see that we all have bonded with each other so much, especially the ex cos and the seniors. i feel so happy every time i see the seniors walk pass me and greeting me with the "i will follow you" song. haha, especially Vicki and keshia(hope i spelled your name correctly) haha. i am not really camp sick, but i am just happy to always recall about the camp. thank you so much councillors! weeeeee! thank you for making my days at camp such an enjoyable and fun one!
yay, Thursday is coming and i am going to cycle again! weeeeee, i love cycling! haha, and i will see my cloud house and hear stories! weeeeee, go go go! haha, i feel so motivated to do everything now, i am so happy! thank you to all those who made my day and days. haha, i am really grateful for that you all have done! oh yes, thank you B2 for being such a good friend! i am really glad to be able to know you! you have always lend me your ears and your shoulders to comfort me and make me feel better. you never fail to make me laugh and make me happy. thank you for always being so supportive and encouraging, at least i know someone is there for me. thank you for always wasting your time just to accompany me, thank you for always being so concern. thank you for all the things you have done for me. thank you for being my friend!

oh ya, i just have to say this ----- i killed 3 cockroaches during the camp!

~THANK YOU~

-----------------JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W --------------------

2007-05-30T23:03:00.000+08:00

HEY!

it has been quite a long time since i last blogged. yeh, so its confirmed that i'm not going to shanghai. nevermind, i guess right now the most important thing to me is my O level. i hope that opportunities will knock at my door again. yeh, so now i have to sacrifice something in order to live a steady and safe life. haha. i will not give up! go go go Jia Jia! now i shall officially be all of your costume manager! haha, i'll help get all the costumes! don't worry, i will still keep myself involve in SDG!
2 days to camp and i'm very excited! la la la, i feel so happy during all the dry- runs. thanks a lot ex cos! the camp is going to be so fun! weeeee~ haha, i hope everyone will be bonded during the camp! i know we will! yay! i have meeting tmr and i'm looking forward to it! yay!
Weeee, i have to start studying, i guess i can only do that after the camp, i am determine to work hard! i have to cut my aggregate score by 50% so a lot of hard work has to be put in! i can do it! go go go!
OH OH OH, I HAVE MY NEW BIKE! yay, i'm so happy and so fascinated by it! i love my bike! i just love it! its rocks man! haha, weeeeeee, feel the wind!
VISION+PASSION+ACTION=SUCCESS!

~i have accepted the fact~

-------------------------------- JJTan H.O.W in the W.O.W ------------------------------

2007-05-16T14:28:00.000+08:00

BOO!

YAY! its marking day! finally i get to rest after those horrible papers! ha ha, so yesterday's paper really did suck, ha ha. i was so angry with myself for not doing the trigo question first, for taking the diameter as the radius, for not doing the parts after the 'show' question and for being so stupid! if i didn't make such mistakes, i would have gotten 10 more marks! oh my gosh, thanks to me, myself and I! anyway, its over so no point crying over spilt milk. yeh, ha ha.
my mum said i became darker and she don't really want me to go under the hot sun. bleah, i don't care, i like it and i'm going! ha ha, anyway its my own skin so i can tan myself as much as i want! ha ha, whoo hoo~ yeh ok thanks a lot "MARIA" ! ha ha, don't know what is stone but know what is computer. ha ha, and you never prepare my breakfast today! send you back to china! ha ha. my stones are cool, they can "jump" on the sea water! ha ha, jealous?
alright, so i know that i flunk my mid-years, so means extra mugging to be done after marking days! i must i must start studying on friday. the hardest thing to do is to pick yourself up, so i shall pick myself up against all odds and move on with life! i will! i'm already at my lowest point, so i can only go up and move on with life! yes yes, i will and i must. O levels is just a stepping stone in my life, many more to come! yeh, ok i feel like i have grown so much after this mid years. i guess i really woke up? i really want to do well for O level! so mugging officially starts this friday! GO GO GO!

~whoo hoo~

------------------ JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W. -------------------

2007-05-14T21:37:00.000+08:00

AHHHHHHH!!!!!!

oh what a day! A maths was fine, do-able but 27 marks out of that 80 = BYE BYE! yeh, hopefully i can pass at get at least a B4? i don't know, i never pass a maths at all for the whole of sec 3 and i hope this time round i will. i think i forgotten all the formulas that i was taught in sec 3. bleah! ok tmr is paper 2 and i'm not sure if i can do well. i bet functions, matrices, integration, quadratic functions, indices, surds, logarithm, TRIGO and P&C will definitely come out. yeh, sucks lah. anyway i'm giving up on P&C already. yeh. english oral was crap lah, i did so badly and i almost cried during the conversation ok. i had mental block and i just couldn't think of anything to say. wth! it kind of spoilt my mood. SB! AB! BALLET!!! argh~

why can't i just do what i want. sometimes i wonder why is our passion being controlled by money? everything in our life revovles around money and it sucks. does that mean that only the rich can achieve their goals? i don't know what's wrong with me, i suddenly feel so heavy and down. i'm no longer so bright and cheerful.

is it true that those who always appear strong are normally the weakest? i'm getting hit by everything so easily. i want to be happy! rahhh! i feel like punching something but i can't bring myself to do it. i feel like shouting but nothing comes out of my mouth. is it because i'm too weak? i guess i think too highly of myself. i always think that i can help others but i always cannot help myself. the biggest enemy in life is yourself. as long as i defeat myself, i'll be able to succeed. but its so hard and tiring. i can't help but give up because its just too painful to be put down again after working so hard. i just don't see the point of working so hard, it doesn't really matter. rahhh~

i have a very strong feeling that tmr's paper will suck, but i don't wish it to be that case. i want to do well, but my mind just don't allow me to? yeh, i can't bring myself to practice. all i can do now is pray hard. pray that i won't be nervous and have mental block.

if i get to paint a picture, the picture will be at the beach. i will be sitting down alone staring at the clouds and imagining myself dancing on the clouds. AND i will have a smile on my face. sometimes i just like to sit down alone with nobody, no noise, just me alone and then stare at the blue blue sky. feel the breeze blowing away my stress and my worries, allowing me to feel much lighter and happier.

i can't wait for wednesday to come!

~WHY~

----------------JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W --------------------

2007-05-11T14:29:00.000+08:00

YO!

bleahhh~ MYE! driving me crazy man! guess i started studying a little too late. wait, not a little, very late! ha ha, so i kind of flunk all my papers. ha ha, maybe except for maths? ha ha, oh and paper two was fine today but thanks to me, i lost 2o marks because i didn't finish the paper! i don't know why but i was so nervous before and during the exam. my hands were trembling? yeh, and i couldn't draw my locus properly lah. i spent 20 to 30 mins just on that stupid locus question! bleah~ i was so angry with myself that i kept banging the table. oh and i kept TSK-ing, ha ha, not forgetting talking to myself! ha ha, sorry Daryl, guess i talked too loud and it affected you? Sorry! my heart was beating so fast and i felt so breathless! oh my, ha ha, i never ever felt so nervous for an e maths paper before! i crushed my paper in frustration, so it was rather loud. ha ha, i think i was the nosiest girl during the exam lah. ha ha.
oh yes, yesterday's core lit paper two was horrible! i can't even smell F9! it's that bad ok. i even had time to stare into space and plan my schedule for the time after exam. ha ha. i did the paper with much anger because the night before i read through lime-tree bower and when i was doing the paper, i couldn't remember any of my points! bleah, and section A was worse, i actually handed in a crashed before paper. ha ha, so funny. bleah.
hope that my a maths papers will be fine, plus its the last two already, so i hope i will end my last ever mid -year exam in kc with a good note. english oral should be fine, not much to worry for.
i think i can spot chapters and questions very well. ha ha, so far i spotted all the chapters. YAY! HOWEVER, i didn't study those that i spotted! WOW! except for ss, the rest i didn't study those chapters i spotted. i just knew that they will come out lah, but i just didn't care i guess. or maybe i just didn't believe my gut feel. bleah, should have listen to myself! fine, i shall burn my june holidays with ballet and books!!!
i can't wait for exams to be over! i swear i'll exercise till i drop! ha ha, i feel like going to ECP! i wanna run run run! exercise! oh and i can't wait for my bike to come! wooo hooo~ yay! hey B2, i'll be able to cycle with you after i get my bike! woo hoo! yay. i guess, i have thought through my problems and am fine already? yeh, i really feel thankful for all my friends and some of my teachers for giving me the support and listening ear. yeh, i guess its not really troubling me anymore. ha ha, good thing yeh? ha ha, i have learn to look and concentrate on the positive things and not care about the negative stuff so much. anyway, my life is controlled by me, i make the final decision to the path in my life. external influences will only aid me to my decision, they cannot force me or decide for me, whatmore they have their own life to worry for. yay!
its not easy to lead a happy life, yet everyone wants to take up that challenge. well me too, anything we go through is worth it, that's how we learn to treasure our life even more. i don't think its greedy to keep seeking for more happiness, cause that's what brightens our life. The pursuit of happiness will never end, it will continue forever, cause that's the challenge that i decided to accept in life. we live to be happy that's why!

~It's my life~

------------------------ JJ TAN H.O.W in the W.O.W ------------------------

2007-04-30T23:22:00.000+08:00

HEY!

yo! i'm so happy now! ha ha, just came back from ballet. yay! class was cool today and i perspired so so so much that my leotard and tights were all wet! my towel too! ha ha, i started perspiring to minute my teacher ask us to join the juniors with allegro! ha ha, yay! i'm so satisfied with today's class, i really worked and body! so much better than the class on saturday! ha ha, we did so many jumps today, ok not really a lot lah. ha ha, oh oh oh my calf muscle cramped up will stretching! oh my, so pain lah, i'm aching at my calf from saturday. yeh, ha ha, just tense up itself and i have no choice but to let go. ha ha. i'm so happy with my right doubles today! ha ha, basically i'm just too happy to be able to dance again! i love advance foundation work! it just kills you and make you do nothing else but work your body! yay, now i have my own class every monday, so monday will now be my fav day? ha ha.
oh today's chinese paper suck lah. ha ha, i didn't understand passage B and i had to read it again despite reading so so slowly. ha ha, yeh, summary was a killer lah. ha ha, i think my HCL paper was so much worse than my english paper! oh my, that shouldn't be the case. ha ha. i'm not really sad over it, yeh. ha ha, oh and i think my zuo wen was rubbish. ha ha, i'm going to fail my paper and get last in class again! ha ha, i don't think anyone can beat my record. ha ha, oh but i'm happy that i managed my time well enough to be able to start on my summary. ha ha.
oh yeh, all the best for mid years my friends! sk, cass, ally, ex-cos, W.O.W members :), ballet friends, B2 ( said relunctantly) ha ha, ok kidding, sec 4/4 and to all my other friends. yeh, everyone! ha ha.
woooooo, last year in kc, so i shall make full use of the time i have with the school. i guess i have found that happiness while i was dancing today! that happiness that everyone is pursuing for! yeh.

" you can't change the environment to complement yourself, you can only change yourself to adapt to the environment!" ----- rmb that yeh, good for you! yes yes A LITTLE BIT OF PAIN IS GOOD FOR YOU!

~YAY~

------------------ JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W -----------------

2007-04-22T01:02:00.000+08:00

HEY

If only i'm a bird, i'll fly away from my sorrows. If only i'm a tree, i'll stay put forever, never leaving what i always treasured. If only i'm a cloud, i'll be able to cry when i wish to. If only i'm a key, i'll be able to unlock eveyone's heart. If only i'm a mountain, i'll be so strong that i can go through any difficulties. If only i'm a baby kangaroo, i'll always be able to stick to my mum. If only i'm a drop of tear, i'll be able to disappear as quick as i can. If only i'm a teddy bear, i'll be able to be cuddled and loved by every single soul. If only i'm a blanket, i'll be able to make others feel warm. If only i'm the sun, i'll be bright and happy everyday. If only i'm a basketball. i'll be able to score that goal that i want. If only i'm who i am before, i'll be much simpler and happier.
Sometimes its hard not to live in denial, the more you deny the more you lie to yourself, sometimes will make you feel a little happier. but, it will only be for that split second. What have i done to my life for me to feel this way? What have i done to make things become worse? What have i done to cause all the problems i face? I have so much unanswered question to ask. I never once did something to make myself or the people around me proud of. I never once stop to think about others, even though i thought i did. I just felt like crying, i don't know why. I guess i have lost the bubbly and cheerful me. I miss my grandma, even though she passed away a long time ago. I miss the times i talk and laugh with my mum, i miss the times when i was with snormpitle, i miss so many things. I feel like going for a run, run and feel the wind blow away my stress, my sorrows, my troubles, my fears and leave me only with happiness. What more, that's what we all are pursuing for. Ballet, my passion, i hope i can always dance. that's the time when i can really free my mind and dance my heart out. I love space, if only a have I big wide space under the sun, i'll dance to an endless song. I like to gaze and admire the blue sky. i will so comforted everytime i am alone looking at the sky. I love myself, but i hate what i've done to change myself. I hope to be as innocent again, I hope to be the real me, I hope I hope I hope.

~If only...~

----------------- JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W ------------------

2007-04-18T23:18:00.000+08:00

HEY!!!

I'm currently suffering from depression! ha ha, feeling the extremes! rahhh--- ha ha, ok i think i'm too stress? but that shouldn't be the case because i am so slack? ha ha, anyway, thanks to that YY always make me laugh during chinese and tuition. especially today when we are heading home from tuition, ha ha, so funny lah! caused me to..... ha ha, shall not say. ok, i think we kind of embarrassed ourselves with that "shake it" song. ha ha, i kept controlling my laughter in the bus ok, ha ha, i can't laugh, if not ppl will think that i'm crazy.If i were to describe my day by plotting a graph, it will be like the roller coaster you sit in TOKYO DISNEYLAND!!! ha ha. tuition was fun, sat with dorothy and we laugh our ass off! ha ha, oh and i keep saying "lame shit" each time dotty say something lame. ha ha, here's another interesting conversation in tuition,
ME: eh, can let me see your answer?
DOT: who say you can see?
ME: tsk tsk. pass me the biscuit, i wanna eat.
*dotty pass me the biscuit and we each took one*
ME: eh, your mouth got hole ah, eat until like that? how to do the qn ah?
DOT: *use her hand cover* don't let you see, ha ha ha!
ME: lame shit lah!
*both of us burst out laughing*
DOT: the shit can walk!
ME: so you mean your shit walk out of the toilet bowl? no wonder your toilet so dirty!
*everyone burst out laughing*

ha ha, oh my gosh, its damn funny lah, plus YY's nonsense, ha ha, made tuition so fun and happy today. ha ha, ok ok tmr shall be a happy day too! ha ha, thanks a lot for all the laughter my friends!

~SHAKE IT~

---------------------- JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W ------------------------

2007-04-10T21:30:00.000+08:00

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
BLEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

i'm here to just vent out my anger, i'm really fuming!!! ahhhhh!

~ARGH~

------------------- JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W -------------------

2007-04-09T21:43:00.000+08:00

HEY!

yo, i felt so tired today! i don't know why and i kept shouting "my eyes can't open" during PC. ha ha, so funny. we had like 10 to 15 mins of free time so i read a storybook and fell asleep half way. ha ha, my friends were all trying to wake me up for chinese. ha ha, so funny.
well i'm not sure what is taking away my drive to work hard and my passion ? yeh, everything to me seems like a chore and i am dragging myself each day to finish all the chores. rahhh, what's happening? i thought i always like to do it ? Now i seem to be disliking it and blaming it for every single mistake i make. i'm always getting scoldings and getting pick on because of that and i don't like it. What's the point of working so hard if i always end up getting negative remarks that cause me to feel upset? rahhh- i can't put my feelings into words, its just something that is choking me but i just can't describe it. I don't even know what is the cause of it. ok i don't think i can continue anymore, i don't even know what to say.

~what's wrong~

-------------- JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W --------------

2007-04-08T01:20:00.000+08:00

HELLO!

yo yo yo, i'm so happy, i ran from kc canal all the way to bedok reservoir park on good friday! how cool is that man! ha ha, i feel so satisfied! i think i'm such a sports cum dance cum arcade fanatic! wow wow wow, i feel so relax and stress-free when i'm doing all these. ha ha, i just went to the arcade just now, so fun! ha ha, i feel so slack, oh no! ok ok have to buck up! go go go! ha ha.
yes yes, thanks to TAY WEI ZHEN, my new gossiper cum protector cum spy? ha ha, yeh oh and to you-know-who, i already have one more protector, go find one more for yourself in case we can't protect each other. ha ha. yeh and this tay wei wei ah keeps claiming that i'm trying to steal her "girlfriend" away! ha ha, hello i'm straight ok! ha ha, yes i know you are too lah, but sometimes.... ha ha, jk jk. yeh, its fun being with wei wei, and i'm happy that it is so. wei wei, rest assured that your gf will still be with you, it will not be stolen away. ha ha.oh and sorry to pris for accidentally hitting you with the pen. ha ha, all thanks to wei wei lah, ha ha. oh my, so violent, aiyo. ha ha.
i think i'm starting to enjoy the times i spend with 4/4! ha ha, that's a good thing, ha ha, i enjoy the times when i "suffer from depression", laugh at Li Jia'a stupidity, making fun of people, being playful and the list goes on. ha ha, i wanna thank all those who made me smile everyday. yeh, ha ha, from class to science practical to PE, everything i do with 4/4 is so fun. ha ha, glad that i'm starting to like my class! yay, thank you 4/4.
thanks to my bestfriend, i'm glad i talked to you on the bus, i hope things will be better! All the best for your tournaments!. Just wanna let you know, I really treasure the friendship we are having right now!
i feel so happy nowadays, that's a good sign. ha ha, i feel so sporty now. i love to exercise, makes me happy! ha ha, yeh i think i better start studying, i've always been saying that, but i never ever start. so i shall start!!! ok i better go buy all the easter goodies tmr so that i'll be in time for monday!

~I'm Back~

---------------- JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W -----------------

2007-04-02T19:08:00.000+08:00

Hi i'm here and i'm going off NOW!
Today is a bad day, that's all i can say!

~bring me back~

------------JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W -------------

2007-03-08T19:29:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MICHELLE!

My bestest buddy ever in ballet! ha ha, bestest such good English ah! ha ha, anyway i really miss the times we spent dancing together during ballet! We are always the latecomers, ok maybe me lah. Thanks for always waiting for me when I'm late, ha ha, and not forgetting the times outside ballet! ha ha, kbox, maggie mee! ha ha, so many things, i really miss you! hope you will always be happy and we must definitely go out together one day! I'll show you all the jap stuff in the jap shops! MUST MUST MUST!

There are many things happening to me now, mostly negative. This makes me really wanna go back to the past, i seemed to be happier then and seemed to have better and lasting friends. Somehow or rather, as time goes by, i am starting to lose everything that i have, especially friends. ahhh, why? i really don't understand why. It makes me feel very sad and affected when i lose things. I am happier in the past despite all the childish quarrels, i had more freedom in the past, i had more lame jokes in the past, i miss being a child, i miss all my friends, i miss everything! I am slowly losing everything and i don't know why, is it because i am being punished? i feel so confused and my mood just swings to the extremes! Now i could only find my true laughter and joy in 4/4, when my close friends are actually not there. what's happening? is it really true that the closest person to you hurts you the most? i guess many things are caused by me that's because i'm always involved in all the problems. ahhh, i hate this, i'm slowly losing my friends, my happiness, my passion, my lameness, my enthusiasm, my everything, even the one and only thing that make me happy! i guess the thing i treasure most and spent most with will be taken away soon, i don't want it to be that way. i spent my life with it and i will not want to give it up! ahhhh, what's happening to me and my life? i can't even make friends properly, i can't do things freely, i am so restricted! i am so confuse, so lost, so.......sad? i don't know, i just hope that everything will be over soon! I want to settle all my thoughts, i want to get my life going, but i want to be happy too. isn't that what i do things for? to learn, go through the process and be happy? i love to make ppl happy, but i would love myself to be happy too!

Ahhh, i really really really miss ballet! i wanna dance! i love the space, i love the freedom to dance! sometimes i really feel like dancing when i see a wide empty space. argh~ i wish to touch the clouds and live there alone sometimes, that way i'll be happy and i will be free! I want to make my life happy!

~vision action passion~

--------------- JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W ----------------

2007-02-27T00:05:00.000+08:00

STRESS! STRESS! STRESS! STRESS! STRESS!
everything is just running through my head, i don't even know how i am feeling right now, sad? angry? relieve? ahhh, i hate this feeling, i keep thinking about all the things that are happening in my life now, it really sucks ok! argh~ practically everyday there is something that irritates me, just a matter of whether its big or small. why is life like this at the last year of secondary school? isn't it suppose to be the most enjoyable yet stress year? why is it that there is nothing for me to look forward to in school? What am i? i don't even know the true feelings or emotions i have everyday, i just laugh and sob at the same time! ahhh, i'm having severe mood swings which i don't even know why! ahhhh, everything in my life now is revolving in the bad way and i just can't find a time to really rest, i need to catch my breath first before i can move on. CAs are killing me and have never ever been so stressed out before, i think i caused all the problems! not only making myself feel stressed out, i also cause myself to feel the way i should never ever feel, argh~ I can't find the innocence in me anymore, i'm forced to become mature and think maturely. i don't want it to be that way, what's wrong with them, i'm only 15 going to 16, i don't know a lot of things yet and i can't control peoples' thoughts! I HATE THIS !

LIFE IS LIKE A STRAW, BECAUSE IT SUCKS! thanks for that anyway, it made me laughed.

~Confused~

------------------------- JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W ---------------------------

2007-02-18T00:32:00.000+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

yay, its new year and i'm so so happy! so many things happened the past few days and i guess it all depends on how i should react and how i want to react! yeh, i guess i really have to start a new! i'm going to do my best in everything, since its the last year, i shall make it a fun and happy one, i shall be happy everyday! its not easy, but i'll do my best to do that! i miss miss miss miss, i repeat, miss miss miss miss ballet! i wanna dance! i can't wait to wear my pointe shoe again! i can't wait to dance again! i can't wait to stretch again! i can't wait to see my ballet friends too! i miss everything about ballet! i guess i really dread teaching, but since i am committed to it already, i shall work hard and tolerate! yeh, bit the bullet and move on! ha ha, yes, i'm glad i feel so positive now, it gives me the spirit to strive for the best! especially when tests are coming! la la la!
i was so so so so so bored at home, i had nothing to do except for eating! ha ha, guess i shall start on my homework tml! haha, at least have something to do! yay, oh yes, i listened to my mp3 for 4 to 5 times today ok, so i kind of like listened to the same old songs over and over again! ha ha, but i guess its ok, because i just bought ITO YUNA's album and i was listening to her songs! wooo~ cool man, i love her voice, her songs are so nice! so happy!
i'm excited to get all my ang paos, money money money! ha ha, yeh, business woman gets "turn on" by money! haha, and oh yes food too! ha ha, so MUCH delicious food to eat! i'm going to burn it all out when school reopens! yay, the first lesson to welcome me back to school is PE! yay yay yay! so happy, run run run! oh yes, i'm so happy, i got an A for my 2.4km run! yay, thanks to you, haha! next target will be pull ups, i shall work work work and get my A, so that i can get my 30 points! i really really want to get 30 points! yeh! haha, i shall be fit fit fit!
yeh, can't wait to exercise, can't wait to do a lot of things! ha ha, this is the year of pig! It will be a good year for me!

~Live long and prosper~

---------------------- JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W ----------------------

2007-02-09T23:40:00.000+08:00

HEY!

yo yo yo! i guess today is one of the happiest day for me! I had my A1 for 'O' level Chinese! yay yay yay, i was so scared ok, so scared that my heart started pounding even before recess! oh my goodness, i thought i would get a B3, which means i also have to consider dropping higher chinese. HOWEVER, i did well! yay, i'm so happy! tears of joy man! ha ha, at least now i feel more motivated to study hard for my 'O' levels! i want to get good marks! I want to get into the JC that i want! Thank you so much to those who supported me and congratulated me today! i'm really grateful! i wanted to cry when i saw the percentage of distinction for Chinese. oh my, trust me, i almost fainted! my tears was about to roll down my cheeks, but i controlled it. yeh, plus our chinese teacher gave us the disappointed look, which made it worse! yeh, i was in a state of shock when i received my results! i'm so so so so happy! Congrats to everyone! We sure did our best and went all out for it! Now, who all have to strive to work harder, Higher Chinese is going to be tough, but we all will be able to achieve our good marks! yeh, go go go!
Quote of the day : Can do, Will do, Done! This is the slogan of the winning teams. --taken from enlightened dolphins.
yeh, i'm really truly happy, and i'm glad that all of you are happy for me too!
oh yes, really sorry to you for saying that to you and making you feel bad, i really didn't mean it, i was too disappointed with myself that's why. i hope that the laughter we had during the lessons were your true happiness. relax ok, don't stress yourself too much! i'll always be there for you!
I guess, everyone are slowly protraying the symptoms of stress, and i guess we all have to bite the bullet and move on. that's life right, so no matter how lazy and restless I am, i still have to be responsible enough to do what i'm suppose to do. yeh.

~Hurray~

-------------- JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W --------------

2007-02-07T22:27:00.000+08:00

HELLO!

tuition was so fun today, as usual we bought a lot of food and made a lot of noise! ha ha, yeh. and my "trapezium", ha ha, its so fun. tuition always makes me high and happy! ha ha, plus today i was the fastest, yay! well, that's because i learnt vectors already, ha ha. i'll continue to be like that ok, don't look down on me. yeh, after tuition, we laughed our way back (as usual) and we made ppl in the mrt laugh too! haha, we were saying so much rubbish in the mrt, plus YY's contagious laughter. ha ha, oh and this old man in the mrt, yawned in a weird way - owwww ow ow ow ow! ha ha, so funny! yeh then this guy beside charmaine wanted to laugh at our jokes, and he controlled his laughter so hard! the guy looks like he is meditating, because he mouths out all the words from his story book! ha ha. yeh, then me and crystal took 197 from bedok home. there was this really freaky auntie on the bus and she started talking to us! ahhhh, i wanted to laugh ok, she talked non-stop and she kept repeating her story! oh my goodness, first she talk about wallet, then her hand then the actress xu wei lun. oh my goodness, then i wanted to alight already, and she still continued talking! oh my goodness, crytal was afraid that the auntie will talk to her, so she alighted at my stop. guess what, the auntie alighted too! ahhh, then we quickly walk to the 196 bus stop. so freaky ok, but it was very funny. We couldn't control our laughter, especially crystal and i was practically biting my fingers! ha ha, yeh such a funny experience!

~laughing is the hardest thing to control~

----------------- JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W --------------------

2007-02-04T00:10:00.000+08:00

AHHH!

bad day today, argh~ morning had board meeting which is ... then was the macs incident which i shall not elaborate. teaching was bleah and i didn't get to dance at all today! hai, new class and they were all so quiet, but at least better than the DT. yeh, then went home so that i can prepare to go to airport to send alaina off. guess it was a wrong choice, hai, don't know what is wrong with my mum lah, she suddenly scold me for wanting to send alaina off. For goodness sake, she going back to KOREA and she may not come back to Singapore! ahhh, the scold and listen session. rahhhh, but in the end she allowed me to go. i don't know, i think she contradicting herself lah. Then i was so angry that i took the bus to airport from the wrong side and i ended in raffles city! wow. so i quickly rush to the nearest mrt and took train. luckily i reached the airport just in time to say goodbye to alaina. so sad, i miss her so much, i miss the wonderful memories we had with her during the hols! ahhhh, cried buckets lah, then when home. i feel so crappy today, ahhhh. I'm so sorry to all of you, i didn't mean to not join you all, i really didn't mean to, please don't get angry with me! i was really shock when i see you all, because i thought it was in school! ahhhh, please don't think that i am neglecting all of you, i don't wanna be out of the group too! Its all coincidental! aiya whatever the spelling is lah. i'm really really sorry. ok and to the three of you too, i'm so so so sorry, because of me you all were affected. hai, sometimes i think the real trouble maker is me! hai, i feel so sad and lousy today, i guess my self esteem is getting lower and lower. HELP! hai, right now i want to be alone, just lie down on my bed and reflect. am i a nice person? no. am i a considerate person? no. am i a lousy person? yes. am i a failure? yes.
argh~ i'm really disappointed with myself, i screwed up so many things, especially teaching, sometimes i really feel like giving up. i'm very tired, tired of everything, i just wanna let go and not do anything. where has my happiness gone to? where is the real me?

~I love myself~

---------------- JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W------------------

2007-01-30T21:19:00.000+08:00

BOO!

hey, yesterday and today was such a meaningful day for me! i had retreat, it was really fun and touching and i cried so much! ha ha, the retreat made me realised how selfish i was while i was dealing with friendship problems and how i took everything for granted. yeh, i also realised how improtant my family and friends are to me, how they all affect my life, how they make a difference in me. i really wanna thank all my friends especially my close friends, you know who you are, i really want all of you to know how grateful i am to all the things that you all have done for me. i really am glad to be in KC to know all of you, i know i am always very loud and talkaitve and demanding and always scolding everyone, but deep down inside, i really do care about all of you. i really want to be a part of your lives. yeh, i want to cheer all of you up, make you all happy and encourage all of you.yeh, whatever it is, i just want to express my sincere thanks to all of you and my sincere apology too!
Have you ever thought of your purpose in life? have you ever thought of why we always have to go through so many stages in life? Life is made up of different stages, whenever we end a stage, we must know that that marks to start of the new stage. If we keep living int the past, we will never be able to improve, we will never be able be happy, we will never ever be satisfied. Don't you think we should take some time out for ourselves and really think about ourselves? It is true that we should put others before oursleves, but don't you think the most impt person in your life is you yourself? without our-self, we will not be able to even serve others. I don't think we should always think about what other feels or react, because sometimes the one suffering is us, not the others. think about others, but also think about yourself, because most importantly, we are the ones to walk through the journey of life. It will be good to think over these things, maybe before you sleep? this may help you to understand what is " tommorow will be a better day ".

~Believe in yourself~

--------------------- JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W -------------------------

2007-01-26T23:28:00.000+08:00

BOO!
hey hey hey! ha ha, ok all i had to say about today is shit! ha ha, ok sorry lah but its true. yeh, i don't know what is the thing that made me feel so shitty, but i'm really angry because it took away my happy mood. ahhhh, no way, i'm going to get my happiness back! i don't want to be sad, angry, stress... i just want to be simple and happy! yeh, thanks to all the songs i had, plus those NEW ones, ha ha, released all my stress and i'm fine now! ha ha, cool, i 'm glad i had those songs to save me! ha ha, especially the "saving me" song, loved it! i'm starting to like nickelback's songs, ha ha, wow, non jap ah. ha ha, its nice, i like their music. ha ha, yeh, anyway thanks. ha ha, core lit was fun as usual, ha ha, elect. geog too, ha ha, only me and mrs k understand lame jokes! ha ha, yeh, so i kept laughing at the jokes lah, ha ha, only i understand! ( but was i really laughing? like for real? am i really that happy? is that my true laughter? ) yeh, coolness. oh ya, yesterday i played some around the world and OCEANs in 80 ways, ha ha. so lame lah, i'm drowning! ha ha, ok ok. but it was fun, ha ha. yeh.

I thought the problems were settled? ahhhh, hate it, its like coming back, i guess it will go away soon, i'm not feeling it now. yeh, i think WE just have to play with them lah, hai, just ren ! ha ha, we can do it, go go go! ha ha, yeh, but i know we know we don't like it, ha ha, but that's life lah, hai. cheer up! ha ha!

Ok, everyone is good at something, so please do not demoralize yourself!!! WAKE UP WAKE UP! everyone will have their good points and bad points! so PLEASE do not look down on yourself!!!

yeh, guess that's my day, but i'm cheered up already, thanks a lot/little! ha ha

~what is friendship~

---------------------- JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W -----------------------

2007-01-23T22:28:00.000+08:00

BOO!
hey everyone, i think i'm getting happier and happier each day, yay! That's a very good thing! i guess its because a lot of my internal problems had been solved and i'm starting to love my class, 4/4! ha ha, i'm laughing in class everyday, which is a good sign, it means that i'm happy! Thank you 4/4! i know i did a lot of stupid and lame things in class, but i'm glad that you all did not ignore me or think that i'm weird, ha ha. you all joined in the fun! ha ha, that's what i call an united class! ha ha, i'm suddenly so happy to be in 4/4! ha ha.
thanks to my BUDDY too! thanks for your non-stop constipated laugh during core lit and tjoe's non-stop funny expressions and comments! ha ha, i love core lit lessons, its so fun, the three of us will be laughing like nobody's business, ha ha! thanks thanks!
oh yes and thanks to your MANY food, ha ha. i eat a lot lah, must walk from eunos mrt. ha ha, i'm always eating my chang kee kee whenever i go for tuition! ha ha, oh yes, tuition another laughing seesion, ha ha, all of us will be so noisy and crapping all the way ! ha ha, noisy bunch of ppl. ha ha, but its super fun lah. ha ha.
yeh, thank you a lot of ppl, buddy, ex-cos, cells, suzy, ballet friends, tuition friends, juniors, the ppl who gave me darkness, my welfare com, seniors, sec 4 and 5 councillors, 4/4 classmates, and many more... thank you for making me so happy and letting me enjoy every single second i have spent! haha, i'm so glad to be happy! all of you too ok, especially you and you! ha ha, shall not mention names, ha ha, but i guess you and you know! ha ha!
i want to go for camp too! i don't want to study, i want to play! haha, ok i have to study, O level year, whooo~ cannot play anymore! boo hoo, anyway, i'll strive to do my best amd also not stress up myself! go! go! go!

~what is more important than being happy~

------------------- JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W ---------------------

2007-01-16T21:32:00.000+08:00

HEY!

bad day today! alright not totally bad, but maybe only at the later part of the day. i reached school super early today, i think around 6.40 to 6.45. ya, and ok the awkward feeling again but i guess we have to settle it among ourselves. i think we can, don't be too troubled ok, stay happy.
yeh, so the first half of the day was happy, happy and more happy. then comes the assembly part, ahhhh. so irritating!!! ahhhh, we did so much ok, we rushed the girls, we shouted at them, we scolded them and yet she said," STUDENT COUNCILLORS, YOU ARE OF NO HELP!" like, what? we did so so much ok. ahhhh, i was so angry that i shivered in anger and i broke down after that lah. ok shall not go into details about it. yeh, so remedial and then support group. after that i went home and i just started thinking about everything that happened and all the WHYs started haunting my brain. ahhh, then i started recalling the past 3 years in kc. i really miss the time we spent together, the childish things we do together, the scoldings, all the prefect stuffs, all the SC stuffs,1/5, 2/5, 3/4, and many other stuffs. i can't help but miss the past, i know i have to move on, but right now there is so many problems and i feel so mixed up. my mind is in a mess sometimes and i just can't think. its nice reminiscing the past, but i just couldn't control my tears, so i started crying. ahhh, such a sad day today. ok anyway i also don't know what i'm typing, ha ha. yeh, anyway i wanna thank all those who cheered me up today and also those who comforted me! i really feel better now, thank you so much!

~reminiscing the good memories~

------------------- JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W --------------------

2007-01-15T22:50:00.000+08:00

BOO!

ok, i'm blogging due to boredom. ok, many things are troubling me lah, but i guess its sort of settled? i don't know, i have to try out first! thanks a lot to ppl who enlightened me and YOU too. ha ha, yeh. i guess i think too much lah, i should just let go and not care about it. *sigh* but i don't seem to be able to do that. whatever it is, i'll lead a happy life. i'm happiliy pitching ppl today, so if you got pitched, GOOD FOR YOU! ha ha, that shall be the way i greet you all, ha ha, ok just kidding. yeh, anyway, thanks to those who make me happy and cheer me up, ha ha, i guess i need to manage my time well so that my "wasting time" will not affect my study and homework time. yeh, ha ha, Pathetic, Very Pathetic and Very Very Pathetic. ha ha!

~ i shall be happy~

----------------- JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W ------------------

2007-01-12T22:37:00.000+08:00

BOOO!
hello everyone, today is a very interesting day! ha ha, met early in school to get blazer then met the councillors and things was very mess up. BUT, we all adapted and went with the flow! special thanks to councillors in charge of sec 4 classes, you all did great, the flow was very good and you all were alert after i told you all the last min plan. well done! i was so proud of you all! plus the councillors at the sec 3 levels too, good job, i saw you all doing great! then it was mass, the father is so cool ok, he not only talk sense into us students, he also did to the teachers! wow, ha ha. its was a fun one, until the moment we sang our last song "One Family". i have no idea why my tear glands activated, but i think its because i saw sk's eyes filled with tears. i couldn't help back think back about the wonderful time we all went through together, especially FF. plus all the crappy times, i really just couldn't control my tears, so it just flowed down. Boo Hoo~ the best part is, we were on stage, so the whole school kind of saw me and sk cry. ha ha, but it was really memorable. thanks a lot to wei wei and tjoe for comforting me, i really felt very touched! Last year in KC, ahhh, i'll miss everything in KC! my friends especially and SC, PB too! so sad! then was the prize giving and installation of cca leaders and TRAINEES! ha ha, i was so excited for them, i don't know why. ha ha, 2 years already, since i first went up to get my trainee badge. i was so excited and worried then, excited because its my first time and worried for my uniform and my posture. i felt so.... i don't know, its so fast, time really flies man. ha ha, so i guess i was even more excited than the trainees! ha ha. yeh then we had reception, thanks to Leslie, Celeste and Zaharah for letting me help you all put on your badge, i was really honoured! ha ha, it sure did make my day! yes then ex cos went to councillor's room and did our usual thing. ha ha finally, its lesson time, boring and fun too lah, nothing much actually except for the laughing gas produced by sk. ha ha.
SO, after school is the best part. ha ha, i was suppose to meet CK/CELLS at 'MYAMMAR' but i got caught up with something so i was late. yeh i was suppose to do research in the library but it turned out to be a laughing seesion in the canteen. ha ha, thanks to who? ANNE KWA, HEIDI FOO, GRACE CHEAH, CELESTE KWAN, NURUL JANNAH and also FILZAH AZIZ!!! i had lunch with them and we were laughing away at everything lah. ha ha, that CELL complained so much about me eating so slowly and the rest were like making me laugh, so how am i suppose to eat fast when all of you are making me laugh? ha ha, yeh then ANNE KWA and HEIDI FOO went i don't know where and went they come back, they treated me with some "wonderful" darkness. wow, thanks ah, interchage the hand somemore. plus, i haven't finish eating my food. then guess what, ALL FIVE OF THEM ganged up to bully me! ahhhh, i was not only being "trapped in darkness" but also being tickled!!! ahhh, can you believe it, 5 JUNIORS against 1 SENIOR! so sad ok, i felt like i was being "raped" ha ha. AND, they pulled out my rubber band! ahhhh, so that was only the intro to the laughing seesion. ok, i must say, i was trying super hard to fight back ok, but 1 against 5 very tiring you know! ahhhh, haha, yeh then filzah had to leave so we said bye. ha ha, then we started singing that bumble bee song and other stupid fun songs lah, oh oh and the dum dum di li di li ? ha ha, ya. that was super fun then it can this thinking game which was super lame and fun, ha ha, CELL is so so so so so so so so so so so so so slow!!! ha ha, poor thing ah, cannot catch anything. ha ha, plus we made it so obvious ok, even nurul also can catch it on the spot lah. ha ha. yeh and ANNE KWA started doing some funny BBC and CNA news reporting, ha ha, that was damn hilarious, ha ha we were laughing our heads off ok. ha ha, my cheek and stomach hurt so much. ha ha, i guess i already produced 1 litre of laughing gas! ha ha, yeh then comes the second " dark " session! ahhhhhh, it was so horrible, this time round i was standing up and i was really moving ok, like trying to " untangle myself from all the HANDS! " ha ha. yeh then this CELL lah go and mess up my hair, ahhhh, my precious hair. i literally look like a mad woman ok and nobody came to my rescue! ahhhhh, i was all alone ok. then they all lah, took my wallet and hid it. i knew it was them lah. ha ha, so i went to check their bags, ha ha and ANNE KWA had to go home, so i ran to her to ask if she had my wallet and she said no, ahhhh. so nvm, then we said bye. so i went to take HEIDI FOO's bag and check, it was not there, ahhh. guess who's bag is it in? a super obvious answer lah, CELESTE KWAN! ahhhh, stupid. yeh, so i threatened to throw GRACE CHEAH's bag and that CELL went to take my bag. ha ha then we had the " bag threatening " game. ha ha, it was another hilarious one, we made so much noise in the foyer ok, ha ha, then we kept running around. ha ha, yeh. it was so fun. ha ha, then finally CELL and I 'checked' each others bag, ha ha, and i found like some stuff. ha ha, anyway that part was just for fun lah, plus we were so tired after running around the foyer. ha ha. yeh then after some short relax chat, we went home. ha ha, yeh, we went home at 5.30! ha ha, so we played from 3 to 5.30! ha ha, cool. yeh, anyway i'm still sad that i'm bullied by 5 JUNIORS, but it sure was fun. thanks anyway for the fun and 'fun'. you all will DIE in the next meeting!ha ha. i felt bad lah, i didn't help do the DC files, so sorry wei wei and all.
yeh then i had to relieve my teacher's class at 7.15 all the way to 9.30. babe class was good, so happy. i thought i did a good job, so it kinds of motivated me for tml. ha ha, good. yeh and after that is finally homw sweet home. yeh, such a fun day and thankful day. ok i must really say a big thank you to all the people that made my day and made me 'blind', ha ha, i really had an enjoyable day!

~Don't stop smiling~

------------------ JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W ---------------------

2007-01-01T21:17:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year!!!

ha ha, its 2007 already, that's real fast! i feel so happy now, it feels as if all my problems from 2006 has been thrown away! i'm glad i'm happy, plus i'm smiling to myself now! i'm so happy to be with my mum, i treasure every moment with her, i don't know why i'm so positive now, i guess its maturity. i think i learn a lot and experience a lot, therefore i'm not as childish as last time. I am really happy to have all my friends around me, my mum beside me, J-POP all over me, ha ha. i guess i change in just that one day, from the last day of 2006 to the first day of 2007. i didn't know how much everyone care about me until that min when it turned to 2007. i really wanna thank you all for always being there for me, supporting me, tolerating me and also correcting me. i guess i shouldn't think so much, my previous post was really ~bleah~, i'm fine now. i'm so glad to have such a lovely mum who cares so much about me, i really think i'm very lucky to have such a caring mum! thanks to my friends, especially the ex-cos : SK for always being there for me when i'm down, sharing your thoughts and all, Ally for always having the same feeling and thoughts as me, Cheryl ng for always giving me great advice and being such a wonderful friend, Wei Zhen for always making me happy and warm, Tjoe for being my anime friend and getting high over get beckers, Victoria for always sharing love about ballet and also helping me for english especially during KC circuit, Crystal for always doing silly stuffs and making all of us laugh, Sanam for sharing thoughts about drama and teasing each other and Pris for sharing korean stuff with me. i wanna thank a lot of people, my classmates, SC juniors and seniors and even trainees, my ballet friends especially for such a wonderful holiday, some teachers and many many more. thank you for making a difference in my life, without all of you, my lameness won't work. ha ha, i'm really very happy now, so happy that i can cry, ha ha. WOW. yes yes, thanks to my welfare committee too, thank you for supporting me and being so united, so proud of all of you! I love you all so so much!!!
2007, a great year ahead, i must not waste my last year in KC!!!

~All i want to say, is a sincere "Thank You"~

------------------ JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W -------------------

2006-12-30T20:48:00.000+08:00

Boo!
ha ha, ok wow i'm like blogging. ok, i didn't expect myself to blog too lah. whatever it is, i'm very bored and i have to start on my homework. yeh, i'm thinking a lot too, about 'O's, school, SC, JAP and also friendship. ok, the most stress one will be 'O's lah, but what troubles me most must bo none other than friendship. i don't know, i'm always blowing up when i'm not suppose to, or rather not to them. so sorry, i guess if you all read this, you will know. i feel much happier with my W group. yeh, i just feel more comfortable and natural. i admit i was piss at you all then, but i know i shouldn't have, well its hard for me not to feel that way. argh~ i don't know why i'm always feeling this way when we all are together. i thought it was over, but it feels as if its coming back, i don't want it to be that way. i want us to be as close as when we are in FF, PB. argh~ i really hate this feeling. i feel better when i'm with the others, i'm sorry for feeling this way. my mind is just going and i can't control my thoughts.
Alright, shall not talk about that, so saddening. ha ha, yeh, school is starting, i'm always saying that. i don't feel like going to school, but at the same time i also feel like. ha ha, ok . i'm excited to see how the trainees will work! ha ha, trainees work hard yeh, i'm starting to see some potential in some of you, please don't disappoint me! First day of school will really be a busy and fast day. i guess everyone have to be much more alert. yeh, ha ha, yeh, first week in fact. juniors too ok, don't disappoint me! seniors, you all will have to really help us guide the trainees and juniors, let's work hard together! go go SC! i'm glad my passion for it is back!

~believe in yourself~

-------------------JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W---------------------

2006-12-30T00:57:00.000+08:00

Boo!
ha ha, ok i'm blogging due to boredom. anyway, i've recently watched lead and w-inds concert dvd, thanks to soek soek. ha ha, i'm in love with it. ha ha. yeh, both keita from lead and w-inds are really damn cute. ahhh, they make me so high ok. ha ha, lead's dance moves are really wow. Their hip hop and breakdancing is super cool. i prefered lead's concert to w-inds one lah, because its like more 'high'. ha ha, but w-inds one is still good. yeh, i'm so happy while watching, i'm like smiling to the computer. ha ha, so cute!!!
yes, board meeting today too, had my committee meeting two days ago. sorry W.O.Wers, we discussed so much about canteen and in the end everything is scrape off. however, i really appreciate all of your enthusiasm. i love my committee members, they really make my day. i'm so touched by our unity, i hope it will continue to be like this. yeh, so the trainees know about their committee today and me too also know who are in my committe. yeh, i laughed during the meeting while i was talking and its damn embarrassing! ha ha, actually i also don't know why i laugh. ha ha, interesting.
i realised i'm doing injustice things to my body and that is to eat fast food! oh my goodness, i'm like eating so much rubbish, plus i've no ballet lessons for these two weeks. man, i hope i don't put on weight, shall exercise. ha ha, undone homework and O level are stressing me up ok. ahhhh, so fast! i'll be sec 4 in less than 5 days time. Last year in kc, so sad, i'm starting to miss the school already, i don't wanna leave my friends, my beloved SC, my school facilities, my akira fan, my everything in the school!!!! boo hoo~ i guess the only thing i can do now is to work hard and score well for O levels.

~Nobody is Perfect~

---------------------- JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W ----------------------

2006-12-17T23:34:00.000+08:00

hey everyone!
ok, i came to blog. ahhh, don't know why, just had the urge to. anyway, today is a bad day for me, really bad, i guess i wasn't even happy once. had to relieve class today and i realised that i only brought back one cd instead of 4, so i decided to burn one since i saved it in my com. ok, so i did and in the end, i forgot to bring! my goodness, can you beat it? ahhh, i only remembered when i was in the bus on my way to tpy. rahhh, so angry with myself ok. erghh~ ok so bus-ed down to tpy and waited for a taxi to go to t plaza. yes, it was raining cats and dogs and it was so hard for me to get a taxi. my class was at 10.45 and i reached toy at about 10.20. not so bad because it only takes 10 mins to reach t plaza. for the first few mins all the taxis were hired, not too bad, then when i finally realised an empty cab, i missed it. that's fine still. after that, so many empty cabs without on call just when passed me like that without realising that a poor girl is trying so hard to get a cab in order not to be late rahh, and its not one or two, its 4 or 5. ahhhhh, i wanted to cry already ok, ahhhh. finally, i decided to take out my umbrella and walk further down, so i got a cab. but by that time its already 10.40. erghh, so i was late. but i replaced the time. classes there were bleah~ i shall not go into detail. anyway i was really feeling very lousy, so bad that i almost cried. so after class, went back for ballet. the bus journey was so long and cold. i was really truly frozen in the bus. yeh, so i went back. help on the preparation for the christmas party. ok i did really badly for the christmas party, i was so disappointed with myself. i guess the others too lah. i feel really bad. its such a bad day for me. thankfully i recalled how happy i was in the councillors' christmas party. at least that made me felt better.

------------------ JJ Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W --------------------

2006-12-08T22:33:00.000+08:00

Hello!!!
It has been a loooooooooooooong time since i blogged! ha ha, so i have so many things to blog about! yeh, let's see pulau tinggi trip, meeetings, ballet, chalet, christmas party....etc. wow, so i guess its gonna be really long. ha ha. so WARNING : This post will defintely be very long, so if you are too tired to read, please kindly click at the second last bubble to link to someone elses blog! ha ha. yes so i shall begin.
Firsly, PULAU TINGGI TRIP!!! proudly presenting the facilitators : Saiful, uncle, Way Jiunn, Mel, Keith, Rong Sheng, Lawrence and Grace. ha ha, ok it was really fun, especially the second day ok. my group is so perfect lah, me, pris, lyn lyn, ri ri and melissa! our facil was uncle. ha ha, as usual i was telling my lame jokes non-stop so i guess the trip was noisy. ha ha. yeh, the first day was mainly travelling and theory. I slept throughout the bus ride from singapore to malaysia! so tired ok, woke up so early that day. ha ha, so it was sleep time for me. the ferry was fun lah, my lameness got activated so i started crapping. ha ha, yeh then we went to the front of the ferry. WOOOO~ so windy ok, ha ha, i felt as if i was flying! ha ha, crystal is so funny, she was like " eh, the other island very close to us right, can i touch it? " ha ha, i was laughing like mad lah. wow, you've got such long arms hurh. anyway, it was really a long ride from singapore to pulau tinggi. ok so we are at dreamz inn. well, some ppl thought otherwise because of the condition of the place. ha ha, ok lah, not very bad i guess. so the theory starts, we learnt the finding of north thing, first aid and watermanship. yeh, i think its called watermanship. ha ha, so we learnt this shadow method which took me like a long time to get it, but at least i still got it. ha ha. the first aid was new to me, now i can bandage an fractured arm ok. ha ha, i think the most hilarious one was the watermanship, everyone has to wear a live jacket (which cho always calls it liveguard). when we go into the water, our live jacket just floats up and we look damn funny lah. ha ha, i was laughing away in the sea. ha ha, cho and tjoe were non-swimmers so they were relunctant to go into the sea i guess, ha ha, their expression too was hilarious. ha ha, so yeh that's about day one. wah, so long already, nevermind. Now, Day 2. The facils cheated us ok, they said we were going on a tour around tinggi. half way on the ferry, there was this senario card and we had to bring items from the ferry to the shore by swimming. so we jumped into the sea and started swimming, ha ha. oh yeh, sorry alicia about the tissue, ok i shall not go into details about it. so we swam and swam and finally, we reached the shore! Yay, so happy! then, comes the second senario card, we had to build a shelter! man ok, oh yes i forgot to say, we learnt how to build shelter too in day 1. yeh, so we did. we used all the items that we brought there to build the shelter. we came out with many ideas and finally came to a conclusion that we should push the bottom part of the bamboo (our shelter) into the sand so some of us including started digging. wooo~i dug a hole ok, i deep one. so proud of myself, yeh. ha ha, now half way through the third card came, man. now we have to escape from the ' local natives ' and they specified that we have to run towards north. so some pack up some find north and guess what, north was towards the jungle. i knew it ok, ha ha, so survivor like. oh yes yes, there was like multiple faeces on the ground lah, so ... HUGE!!! ha ha, so yes we started hiking through the woods. its really fun, i enjoyed it ok, ha ha but the mosquitoes were irrtating. i got bitten so many times ok. boo hoo. ha ha, anyway it was slippery and quite hard to walk lah but everyone still bite the bullet and moved on so that's real good. ha ha. oh yes, anne is infront of me during the hike and there's like dozenz of ants around. everyone was shouting " ants, ants!" and anne was like " you all calling me? ". ha ha, i was laughing like hell lah, ha ha. it was fun lah, and i think i kind of like destroyed nature. ha ha, i broke so many branches because it was in our way, so sorry branches. back to tinggi and had quite a long break, then was the games. ha ha, the most fun one. ha ha. we did three games and our group was having so much fun, especially the coconut station. oh yes, during the swing station, we missed cheryl ng and she was like screaming away, ha ha. that was the most hilarious part. anyway the picture is taken so cheryl, everyone will remember that moment! ha ha.
we had reflections for both nights and i thought both sessions were great. i understand more about everyone and thanks to Way Jiunn's inspiring speeches. yeh, there were many talks among the facils and ex-co and i thought it was all really good lah, at least i learnt something from every talk. talks within ex-cos were fun too and we really laugh about everything. ha ha. oh yes, i found myself a new job during the camp and that is " the bug catcher " ha ha, i squashed and killed many bugs and they all ended up in the toilet bowl. sorry bugs, ha ha i didn't do it on purpose!
day 3 was memorable too, we watched the dvd that was produced by our facils and i saw many 'uh-hum' pictures of myself. ha ha, right so it was quite embarrassing, but we all had a good laugh. ha ha, oh yes, we also talked to our facil and i think uncle is really wise. he is very quiet but he really talk sense into me. thank you uncle! so we took group photos and read warm fuzzies, it was wonderful i must say. and next, shopping. we only had like one hr but it doesn't really affect me. ha ha, the ex-cos took like half an hr just eating, ok i know its me again for eating real slowly, sorry, at least we still had half an hr to shop. ha ha, within half an hr, i bought 2 jap movies and 1 jdorama! whooppee~ so happy! i was like smiling to myself in the bus. ha ha.yeh and finally, it was home sweet home and everyone is safe.
yes, mel and keith tested me on this thinking game and i took quite long to get it. at least i get it ok, so that means i'm not slow. ha ha, oh yes i was really skock when Way Jiunn told lame jokes! ha ha, he is really lame man! ha ha, it was great experience exchanging lame jokes, ha ha! I seriously think the facils have great potential to become the world's lamest man! ha ha. i really love the camp, still can't get over it! ha ha, yeh. thank you so much for everything!
alright, that's pulau tinggi, i shall continue the rest tml!

--------------- J J Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W --------------

2006-11-08T00:42:00.000+08:00

HEY!
ha ha, right so now i'm really hook onto one litre of tears! rahhh- the video keeps stopping half way and i can't continue watching it! rahhh- my one litre of tears! CHO!!! can you please lend me the video? boo hoo, i'm really crying one litre of tears man. ha ha, yeh, its really good ok, i love it! ha ha, so now i'm like watching one litre of tears, rondo, nobuta wo produce and team astro! wow, can you believe it?! well, but team astro is like half way lah, since it already started on tv, so i guess i'll just start wherever they stop. yeh! ha ha, oh LEAD's BRAND NEW ERA is superb ok! i shall admit that i'm a bit slow because the album was already out in 2004!!! ha ha, still, its cool ok! ha ha, yeh, so i'm fully submerged into the J-POP river, laughing and tearing my way through! ha ha, yes jap is cool ok! ha ha. alright, so i blog purely due to boredom ( correct me if i'm wrong ) therefore i don't know what else to say. ha ha, anyway J-POP rocks!

-Believe in yourself and get wild life!-

JJ Tan------------------H.O.W in the W.O.W

2006-11-06T02:14:00.000+08:00

Hello!
ok, my blog is back! Yay, happy sha la la! ok, i couldn't see my previous blog that's why i've got to change 'something' inorder to view it. yeh, and it turn out that the 'something' is my blogskin. rahhh- of all things! well, anyway, i changed it into this! yes, dolphins! yeh, i like dolphins, they are my fav animal. ha ha. yes, i apologise for the small font size, well i can't do anything to it so just treat it as an eye exercise or eye exam, yeh. ha ha, ok, holidays=no holidays, but yeh i know that and i'm going for that, therefore i shall start picking up my books and hw tml. well, rest time is still a sure thing so i'll watch one litre of tears and nobuta when i'm free. yeh, stronly recommending one litre of tears, its really sad, plus its a true story so its SAD X INFINITY ! ha ha, yeh, ballet everyday, shiok!!! ha ha, gotta lose weight man, and stretch all the time so that i have firm and slim legs, ha ha. yeh, shall not make it too wordy, so yeh the end-

-In order to succeed, you have to be focus-

JJ Tan--------------------H.O.W in the W.O.W

2006-10-13T23:16:00.000+08:00

BOO YAH!
Ok, i'm happy that exams are over, but also not because results are coming back, plus chinese 'O' level is in 2 weeks time! AHHHH~ i really gotta do lots of compo and papers for chinese. Hopefully i'll be able to do it and score well.
Yeah, ally, cho, cass and I went to cine yesterday. ha ha, KBOX! whoopeee! ha ha, fun fun and we sang a lot of songs ok. ha ha, oh yes and at the end, we had some more time so we sang english songs. well, its not the recent kind lah, since they only have the oldies song, umm maybe not that old lah. So, we sang songs like 'She's the one', 'Hero', 'How do I' and so on. Cool songs yeh, but the MTV they show is really terrible lah. For example, when we sing 'Hero', the MTV was about parrots eating on the tree and animals running. My my, imagine singing ' when the hero comes along...' and you see parrots! haha, its as though our 'heros' were the parrots! ha ha, ok next one, 'How do I'. we sing ' how do I live without you...' to the flowers and trees, why, because the whole MTV was about plants and trees. WOW, so we are singing that to them lah, ha ha, no wonder the song also don't have an answer. How can the trees answer when we sing ' I want to know ' or ' If you ever know ' you tell me? ha ha, ok that's really hilarious.
alright, next up JAP SHOP !!! ha ha, i was so 'high high into the sky' ok. Even though the shop is small, but it has everything ok, from pictures to singles to stickers to magazines. it's a real WOW to me. Coolness, and i saw my favorite Koike Teppei (WaT), Hayami Mocomichi, LEAD, w-inds, KAT-TUN, arashi, kinki kids..... AHHH, i was going crazy inside the shop ok! ha ha, plus there is this cabinet all filled with WaT, w-inds and LEAD. Ahhh, i felt like buying the whole shop down man. haha, half way through amiaring Koike Teppei's pictures, they played WaT's new song, hava rava. WHAAH, additional madness. The shop is really superb man, well of course i bought Koike Teppei's pictures and Hayami Mocomichi's too. I must say, i was so reluctant to leave the shop.
Next, we went to Heeren and we went to HMV, ha ha all thanks to me. yeh, why, because i wanna see my jap cds!! wahh, i went there, all the cds that i wanted was there! Ahhh, yes yes i was half the time listening to the cds as it was just too nice. It's true ok, jap songs are really nice! again i was reluctant to leave HMV, MY JAP CDs!!! Then we went to long john silvers to have our break then ally left and cass, cho and I went gazing around but only for a short while then we went home.
Yes, interesting hurh! ha ha, ok i'm really super into gokusen 2 now ok, i finsh watching already and i must say it's a superb show. It teaches you the knowledge of life too! well now, i'm watching Nobuta wo produce, yeh but not as into yet lah, my craze over gokusen 2 is not over yet. ha ha, durh, Koike teppei acted in gokusen 2!!! ha ha, yes j-pop is really cool, yeh i strongly recommend WaT, LEAD, w-inds maybe V6 and Kinki kids too, their music are really nice, all these groups have different type of j-pop style. yeh. ha ha.
Here's a qoutation for all of you :
" Laughter does not mean a perfect life,
and Tears does not mean a miserable life."
- qouted from gokusen 2 ( translated )

----------------------- J J Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W ---------------------------

2006-09-14T20:50:00.000+08:00

hi everyone, i'm back again!
ok i must say i'm in a super ultra mega bad mood today! ahhhhh, like what the hell, i'm so pissed with the teachers. ok not all, but some. firstly, this teacher ( shall not mention her name ) saw me during chinese period. ok, ZF didn't come today so some of us went down to the foyer to do our zuo wen. Then, in the midst of laughing and cracking jokes, she came. She said to me in chinese " ay, your councillors haven't hand in the form ah?" then i was like " huh?... oh." and just gave a black look. then she said " haiyo, why like that ?" and came towards me, man i was totally like blurr about this. right, so i told her i need 4 more forms for the councillors and she said while taking out the forms " WAH! i didn't know councillors also drag until so long!" like what the hell, how am i suppose to know the deadline and how am i suppose to know whether they are suppose to give to me or her. At the very start, i wasn't the one who collected the forms from her and she didn't say a word about the returning of consent forms to me, so how in the world am i suppose to know? You think i'm a superwoman is it? Wow, thank you for the compliment but i'm not. Like hello, councillors are also humans right, we are not perfect you know and we cannot read your mind too! AHHH, spoil my mood! ok whatever, that's not the worst. i was waiting for ally to come down to the canteen i waited quite long lah so i decided to go up and find her, ok found her but yeh she was busy lah so i just stood beside her and cheryl. Yeah, ok i wanted to go to the washroom and i don't like to go in when someone i don't know is in there so i waited since the other one ran out of toilet paper. ok and the ppl inside took so long that i saw ms w walking towards the black box. alright i was showing my social graces, so i waved and she waved back. ha ha, nothing much right but after she took a few steps forward, she realised that it was me so she took that few steps back. She asked, " aren't you in sec 3 ?" i said ya and she continued, " aren't you in drama club ?" i said the same thing, ya. " aren't you suppose to go for the syf workshop ?" ok so i explained, " oh because i missed the first one and the second and third i couldn't come because of trinity so i thought since i missed so many so just don't go." She became like angry and said, " but who gave you the permission to not come? it's a workshop and this is cca you know, so you are getting zero zero zero, you won't get cca points." Ok, i was blurr again, like huh what is this so i just said, " oh but i won't be involve in syf because my mum don't allow." and she continued, " the workshop doesn't mean a place for you in the syf. so what are you going to do about it ?" ok i have no choice but to say i'll go, and she walk away so i just said sorry lah. Man, like what the hell, how am i suppose to know its compulsory when no one came to me to tell me i have to go. She herself also didn't tell me or tell someone to tell me that i am suppose to go. hey, what is this ? like i am suppose to know its compulsory when no one tells me anything? So i'm getting zeros without knowing and not getting cca points for not knowing that i'm suppose to go? Why do they always assume things? Teachers ask us not to always assume, but here they are assuming that WE students should know what WE have to do without letting US know. WOW, why is she like using that kind of ' why you don't know ' tone and look while talking to me. what, is it because of emdd that you are treating me this way? hey, this is not right ok, its always us who get the shit from you all ok. Ahhh, i'm exploding, why are they like this? It's always our badge getting all the nonsense ok, i'm not happy with this ok, really! i'm not being myself because of a lot things, i'm so packed with everything and here are all the teachers thinking that we only and i mean only thier things to do when we are actually very busy already. They always give the excuse that they have no time, like we have time also? ahhhh, i just feel like letting go all the responsibility and just be myself. Just be me, the me that i love and feel comfortable with. i'm so .... fake now, so not myself, and i feel disgusted. i don't like to be this way, i'm already very stress and they are still adding on every single day. This week is horrible, errrgh so unhappy and pissed. ok, i'm feeling really awful, nobody understand how i feel. ( PLEASE DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL BECAUSE I KNOW FOR MYSELF THAT ONLY I WILL UNDERSTAND THIS FEELING! DON'T ASSUME! ) How i wish i'll be back to that lame and happy me without feeling awkward. how i wish i'll be that playful girl who likes to venture around doing the things she enjoys and not be so restricted. how i wish i'll stay happy forever!
i'm sorry to say this but please don't come and encourage me about this because i don't like it! i just wanna let out my anger and i don't like it when someone comes to me and say all the ' i know how you feel' or the ' but you must understand that the teachers....' so please don't encourage me about this matter! i know i'll need encouragement at times but not now.

--------- J J Tan H.O.W in the W.O.W --------

2006-08-26T21:43:00.000+08:00

hey everyone i'm back to blogging!

alright, i know i know you all miss me, haha. sorry for not blogging for so long, well its due to the unworkable computer of mine. Anyway, i'm back now! ha ha, many things happened last few weeks -- tests, SC, 3/4, national day...etc. yeh, i shall not talk about it since its over.
yesterday was quite a bad day for me, well got back my chinese paper, just pass. boo hoo~ what's with my chinese now? its deproving badly and how am i suppose to score an A1 for my 'O' level chinese? rahhh~ yeh, my day started of bad with the chinese paper, then i was suddenly so pissed with my class. ahhh, they just simply don't listen lah, eat in class, use handphone in class... etc. man, why can't they just go with the school rules man? ahhh, make things so difficult for the councilors. yeh, so i was really moody and i didn't have the appetite to eat or drink. yeh so i told cho everything and my eyes was teary already. i didn't wanna cry lah, like me cry? i'm suppose to be the one cheering others up, so why should i even cry and feel sad right? what more cry over these things? Then cho asked me " you wanna cry is it? just cry it out, you will feel better." at first i shook my head, then i couldn't take it anymore, so i ran to the toilet. yeh, man i cried so much! i couldn't really cry out loud, since its the school toilet, so i cried silently. At this time, a group of girls came in and they saw that the cubicle at the end was occupied ( by me of course ) so they wanted to know whether it is really occupied by a human. they were like "hello hello" and see if anybody replies. man, like hello i'm here crying and you all want me to reply to all the helloing? my gosh, break the feel of the cry. ahhh, ok i can't blame them. Well, it indeed felt better after i cried. Great big thanks to Cho, you are always there when i'm down. thanks a lot! yes, then my mood was gradually changing as the day went by and eventually i was back to my normal bubbly self.
alright today, WOW! school to ballet to more ballet and more ballet and more ballet! Firstly i went to school at 7.30 to do the teachers' day present with my com members and the PR com members the i left for ballet at 9.15, grab a drink and then off for ballet at 10. it ended at 12.15 so i rested and ate waffer plus another bread until 1.45. 1.45 was intermediate, danced and stretched, straight after was my class. We did everything, all the exercise including pointe! Without any break, we went on to do jazz with the younger kids, well was fun lah but tiring. then was the 6.15 class which started at like 7pm because we couldn't take it anymore, we were too hungry so we grab a drink and a bun and then went straight for the pointe free class. yes, i was slacking at the first few exercises but eventually i got into the mood. I FORGOTTEN TO CUT MY TOE NAILS! man, plus my pointe shoes are super soft now so i was struggling on pointe. PAIN! however, i like it so i went on despite the pain. yeh, oh we did fouete(sp?) turns on pointe and well it adds on to the pain but at least i could do a few so it wasn't that bad. it ended at 8.20, and then its home sweet home.
WOW i can't believe it, i danced so much today, cool! - sense of achievement- ha ha, yeh that's my day, well i suppose i'm happy and wiser now after going through so many things the past few weeks. i hope i will stay happy always. 5 more days to hongkong trip!

H.O.W in the W.O.W -------- JJ Tan --------

2006-08-06T12:36:00.000+08:00

hey my friends,
ha ha, yesterday was the first day of my dance performance. Well, its a collabaration with shanghai, so singapore girls performed in total 15 items and shanghai girls 8. Yeh, i'm in 3 of the items, In an instant, mystique and grand valse. yeh in the morning i help relieve kelly's babe class from 10 to 11.30. It was kind of awkward at first because there is another lady who came to relieve too, plus she's from china so yeh i got to do the talking. Man, i just don't know how to handle the kids, luckily the other lady is good at kids. phewwww~ She's not very sure of the dances so i stayed on from 11.30to 12.15 with her for another class which is dancing tots, a class with kids at 2 1/2 years old! Ahh, but i left like at 12.14 because i got to meet the rest to go to victoria theatre for my performance. ok, now i must say, the shanghai girls are wow ok. Even though they are young girls about 9 years old, but smiles and flexibility are wonderful! yeh, so we all started smiling, plus all three of my performing items ( and the three only items of the performance ) are on pointe, so we have to really make our smiles natural despite the pain. ha ha, yes the rehearsal before that was alright, after that we had our make up done. The make up is really thick so thick that when you smile, the wrinkled part will still be wrinkled ( get it? ). Stage make up, what do you expect? yeh, i actually can feel my pores breathing after i wipe of the make up. I'm not kidding, its like literally breathing! ha ha, yes. ok the first show was rather bad lah for us seniors. Firstly for 'In an instant', i fell during my chaine. ( for those who don't know what chaine means its a continuous turn on pointe on both legs, ok or ask me) I didn't fall flat on the ground but fall off my pointe, so i stop, but after that i continued. Yes, its bad, because its very obvious, plus i'm the first one to chaine out of the wings. yeh, some others also did some mistake in this item, but at least our ending was fine. Now for mystique, it was better than "In an instant" i feel, because less ppl made mistake and my attitude turn was finally presentable. ha ha, yes i feel that a lot of ppl like 'Mystique' because of the eerieness also and the dance. yeh, i like 'Mystique' too! Now 'grand valse', the ballet piece. Its my best out of the three because i did not make any mistake and i balance ad all so it was good. However some of my friends fell while turning, i hope they are alright. Yes, i think we will do better today. Today is my second and last show for this performance so wish me luck! Oh yes we took a lot of pics and will take somemore today, hopefully i'll put it up on my blog when i get the pics from my friends.

H.O.W in the W.O.W -------- J J Tan --------

2006-08-04T22:37:00.000+08:00

Hello all,
Thank you so much for all those who tagged me and gave me encouragers. It really made my day! hmmm, but show it at night, so should be make my night. ha ha. Yeh, today the combined marching, well it was ok but we can do better. The marching rehearsal on thursday was better than wednesday. Not everyone came of course but most came so it was ok. Yes, i think i was too hard on them though, basically because i always forget to stop them or let them rest. Ha ha, but still its marching, so they have to train themselves. Alright, now the LAUGHING TREE! Ha ha, yes a lot of them laugh because of me, i made them laugh. I was real lame lah, because i talked to the trees and even like 'made friends' with them, ha ha. I was trying to see whether they will control themselves or not, but in the end all of them burst out laughing. i remembered whem i was a trainee, i was sent to the laughing tree together with neritta, haha. we just couldn't stop laughing and so from laughing tree, we were punished to do jumping jacks. Well it went on and on until we stop laughing. haha. yeh so i introduced the laughing tree to them. Slowly, it turned to laughing bush to laughing grass and finally laughing drain! ok the drain is kind of random but still its suppose to be lame! ha ha, it was tough lah today, and i kind of like scolded my contingent. man, just couldn't stand the unlocked arms, so yeh i shouted at them, " LOCK YOUR ELBOWS! HOW MANY THOUSAND TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU ALL TO LOCK YOUR ELBOWS?!" ok, chill now, i really hope that all of us will do well on tuesday! Counicillors are going to put in their best right? ( echo ~ right) ha ha, oh today during lit, mdm g didn't come, so we went to the canteen to meet mr k. It was damn funny, me and cho kept laughing and laughing over everything. ha ha, such a laughy day! my a maths test was bleah today. ha ha, but i didn't have any string feelings about that so i guess its good. Alright now to all junior councilors: You all are improving, keep it up, don't be complacent too! Yes, when its time to play we'll play with you all as crazy as we can, but when its time to be serious please be serious and know your limits. I know you all understand and will do well, so do your best or else the laughing tree will .....
To all sec 3 councilors: You all are doing well too but also you all have to remember the times where we have to be serious. This will only make things done faster and happier. Yeh, i also think that you all did a good job for marching but still there is room for improvement, so lets strive to our best together!
To all sec3 ex-cos: Thanks a lot for everything and also the help you all have offered! Stay happy ok and not stress up yourself! We can do it! Together with the whole board, we will make the first Student Council a successful one!
To all sec4 ex-cos and seniors: Thank you so so much for all your help and also for tolerating us....ok me! ha ha, i know i tend to get too over sometimes so i'll now learn to tone down. I really appreciate all the hard work you all have put in for us, be it marching, duties or anything. I'm very thankful for knowing all of you and to learn so many different things from you all! Thank you!
yes, i really really hope we will do well in everything, and please we have to work together, hand in hand, so that i'll SC will success! we are all one family, so we cannot lose each other, therefore we must love each other and believe in each other so that we can do well and stay happy! All for one and one for all!

H.O.W in the W.O.W -------- J J Tan --------

2006-08-01T22:14:00.000+08:00

Alright, a really bad start of the day. Firstly, i sleep super early last night, like about 8 and i woke up at 6.15. Ahh, when i woke up, i slowly recalled that i didn't do so many homework and the worse part was, i didn't study for my social studies test! Oh my! so i jumped out of my bed and went on with the preparation. I was panicking while i was bathing and guess what, i took 20 mins just to shower. Oh my, and now the worst, i reach school at 7.17! ahhh, well got scolded of course. *sigh* what is happening to me man, why am i like this? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! ok, enough of this, at least something brightened my day, Deanna gave me a card that has Koike Teppei's picture on it. *happy sha la la, its so nice to be happy sha la la* Oh i was so high after i saw the picture. ha ha, yeh so it kind of gave me inspiration when i'm doing my work. hehe, yeh. Nothing much happen today, my ss test was fine, it was SBQ so not that bad, but i didn't finish. man, i never finish SBQ before. yeh, plus i finised my homemork when before coming online. *sense of achievement* ha ha.

--------- H.O.W in the W.O.W J J Tan --------

Student Council!!!

2006-07-29T23:16:00.000+08:00

Hello, ok firstly I must really thank all the councilors for the wonderful job done! We march real well today. We didn't give the others a single chance to mock at us! We were so together and coordinated! Thank you so so much seniors and especially ex-co. They did so so much for us, I know they are not ready to let go of us, they were forced too!It's because of us they scold, its us that they cry, its us that they struggle. Don't worry, we will not let you down, we really mean it! I think we really did a great job today and we proved that we can be independent , so please don't tear anymore.
Alright, the contingent commander is ME! Oh my, I was super shock and I was totally clueless of what to do at first. Yea, oh my I was so nervous. The first few practices for commanding was terrible, I admit I did a terrible job during our own rehearsal but practice makes perfect, so during the combine rehearsal, I was confident. Yay, well I'm not suppose to command during the parade because there will be a parade commander to command everything, we just have to march. We were suppose to count to 15 when we see the last line of G.O.H marching away from us, however there was a change of plan. Since the councilors are the first supporting contingent to do the march pass, so I have to give the command for the supporting contingent to march. WOW, my god, I was damn nervous, plus I have to be extra loud because my back is facing my contingent. AHHH!!! Well, thanks to drama, I learn the technique of speaking loudly using my diaphram, so I did that and guessed what, it out really well. I was loud enough to let everyone hear me, wooooo, sense of achievement. Ha ha, when we finish marching back to the starting point, everyone cheered and at that point of time, I really felt like crying but I held back my tears. Ha ha, real cool man, I think we are great ppl man, we can do great things. haha, yeh!
Alright now about ballet. Ok I overslept again. I took a nap after I came back from marching before I go for ballet and again I overslept. Worse, I was late! ahh, but I didn't get scolded so yeh. ha ha, wow, today's class was terrible yet good. We work out so so much and we did our advance found pointe work for like half of the class. wow, our toes, soles, back, everywhere is aching real badly, but its good lah, at least we work out and achieve some aches, ha ha. Now that's what I call a good class. then we had to stay on to stretch. everyone except me, took out their pointe shoes. We did our back stretch and everyone except for me could do it! ahhhh, I just couldn't catch my toes lah, it was hanging behind me and you know the thickness of the pointe shoe is hard for me to catch too. So, I just couldn't stand it, so I took out my shoe, guess what, I could do it! It's the shoe problem lah, ha ha, well everyone was laughing at me. basically because at first my teacher said to our juniors, " look at the seniors, they all can do it. Errrr, except for one. -laugh- " Then I took out my shoe and my teacher said, " alright, so she thinks its the shoes fault." and everyone laugh. After I could do it, she said, " It is the shoes fault. " and I replied, " yeh!" and everyone laughed again. well ok, but it was fun. after all the torturing stretches, we went for a short break then it was our rehearsal on POINTE! Imagine going on pointe with sore toes! yes, pain! so we kind of bit our lips through the 2 hour pointe rehearsal. Ok, you may think that i'm crazy, but i actually love the pain. ha ha, it gives me a sense of achievement and its just 'shiok'. yeh, so my toes are kind of sore now, but well good feeling. Ha ha, yeh!
Alright, to all the councilors and you the reader, i wanna share with you my motto and do rmb it. It goes like this:
"In this world there is nothing that can't be solved, if you have the will, you will find your way!"

H.O.W in the W.O.W --------J J Tan --------

High Day!!!

2006-07-26T23:15:00.002+08:00

Hello!
Yeh, today is a real high day for me, simply because i went on pointe for ballet rehearsal today! Alright alright, this is another of my lame jokes, ha ha. yeh, but seriously i was super high today, every hour, every minute, every second, every moment. Ha ha, firstly was during bio, the first stage of highness. I was really into the artery pronunciation and i kept saying artery artery to every qn the teacher asked. Ha ha, it was real fun. Then the second stage of highness was during elect. geog, the snormpitle gathering. Ally, SK and I were telling cass about the lame msn convo we had last night. It was hilarious man and the " salivary molecules " of ally's overly vibrated, leading to sptting it out. ha ha, even the saliva went high. Yeah, so we were talking and laughing in the lesson, well we were allowed to since we are only given worksheets to do and the teacher is not teaching. Yeah, after that, my highness retarded as i move on to the serious Maths test. Well we were tested on graph and kinematics and that's were retardation is found. wooo hooo, i lost 9 marks due to the accelerating carelessness that cause me to re-do the whole of qn 2! ahhhh, so i didn't finish the paper. BLEAH~ Soon after, its RECESS! The ex cos ( as in 2007 ) met in the councillors room and theres where my highness came back. It rised real fast and soon its at stage 3. We were cutting papers, ok not we but they because crystal and I were happily eating there. However, we contributed in giving moral support and yes we helped in counting too! Ha ha, ok now the funny part (well at least funny to me and crystal), one of my paper flew away and i shouted "FLY AWAY!" so louded we a little crack, so ya its funny now laugh --ha ha--, good. Alright i started shouting and saying lame things, well that's me right (left he he), plus i'm at the third stage so what do you expect. yeh, sadly recess was over and we went back to class. Surprisingly my highness decreased to zero during english but that's only for a short while. Nothing much actually during english. Yeah, now's the ultimate, ha ha CHEMISTRY! and iI was super duper high and i started calling everyone's name in the chinese opera way and said to the girl beside me " a~lu~mi~nium chlo~ride " ha ha and we both started laughing. yeh, it went on and on for the whole lesson. Now my last two periods of the day, CORE LIT! Yeah, we went to 3/5 and my highness is still accelerating, ha ha. the first thing i said to sk was hey~ in the chinese opera way, ha ha in front of the teacher, wooooo, but i didn't get scolded. Ha ha, yeh i continued with the highness during lit and yeh it went on and on. ha ha, cool. yeh, nothing much after school, just KC circuit meeting and then ballet rehearsal. Yeah, the pain on pointe is real shiok man, ha ha i don't know, but i just love it. Yeah, that's about it, my high day!

H.O.W in the W.O.W -------- J J Tan --------

E MATH!!!!!

2006-07-25T22:45:00.000+08:00

Ahhhhhhhh, how how how? My e maths test is tml and i'm not prepared at all! Oh no, i'm really bad at graphs and i'm currently retarding, ahhh!!!!! What am i going to do??? Cramping all into my brain at the last minute is really bad, but i hope i can!!!!!! HOW???? Wait, isn't that me? H.O.W ( Head of Welfare ) alright, i really hope my life will WOW now!!!!

H.O.W in the W.O.W -------- J J Tan --------

2006-07-25T16:12:00.000+08:00

Today, well i felt quite down at the beginning but i returned to my bubbly me during math. ha ha, trigo! Interesting, at least its not as boring as functions. my god, i nearly fell asleep in all the function lessons. yeh, today's PC lesson was on infactuation and love. hmmm, sometimes i really wonder how i'll get into a relationship. ha ha, maybe because i haven't really fall for any guy, that's why. well, assembly was cool. An ex-kcian, Sabrina Low came to gave us a talk on love ( wow, love again. 4 straight periods on love ). It was really interesting, maybe because her age is closer to ours therefore she can relate better. oh yeh, she is really convincing, i bet a lot of us really like listen to what she say. yeh, the talk was about some relationship, mutation, lesbianity, abortion and her life. Its really cool and it kept all the students awake! That's good, so we councillors don't have to keep waking girls up.
Well, i really question myself on the role of being an ex-co. Can i really do it? i haven't been looking to my duty in charge. How am i going to ask my fellow councillors to be on time when i myself is always late for duties when i'm a junior? ahhh, i tried real hard to wake up early, my friends even helped me by giving me morning calls. Anyway, that's in the past, i kind of overcome this problem, but only for school. Yeah, i'm really trying very hard. What really hurt me is when i'm trying, they don't see, but when i happen to be late, they will lose faith in me again. ahhh, i'm not perfect you know, how I hope i'll not be late anymore, not even once! The councillors must be in school by 7.10am, and i'm in school like at 7.05am now. Good, but people will be late right, and when i'm late, i always get the hurting and uncomfortable eye despite being early for like 3 consecutive weeks. ahhh, can i really be a good ex-co? Can I? What am i going to do? i'm so unprepared and this wednesday is like already my first kc circuit meeting together with my W.O.W ( World Of Welfare ) ppl. Yeah, i hope things will not go wrong, i hope i can excel as the H.O.W ( Head Of Welfare ).

H.O.W in the W.O.W ---------- J J Tan -----------

Yay! My new blog!

2006-07-24T23:24:00.000+08:00

Yay, hello everyone, this is Jia Jia. I got a blog. ha ha, ok its a bit outdated to have a blog like only now, but who cares. Yeah, alright, it's a little odd to suddenly have a blog but i'm happy because at least i have somewhere to release my feelings to. Thanks a million to ally and sk for helping me with the blog, ha ha, took a long time you know. ha ha, anyway i hope all of you will like my blog and do tag me ok! Thanks a lot!

------- Lame Teh ------

testtest(:

2006-07-24T21:29:00.000+08:00

BOO.

it's ally here. haha. im testing out her blog (: YAY. three cheers. jiajia has a blog now ! CHAOOO ((: hahaha and it's S K CHO here now :D jiajiajiajia, blog blog blog (: i tagged you, yay first one to tag you ok, be honoured! hahaha <3